3-foot-tall DIV*A

. . . just like Clifford!

2008-04-19T09:27:00.000-07:00

Last Thursday, we went on a ferry ride from Coronado to downtown and back with Eliza's field trip group. We were late, and Eliza bawled about losing her shoe on the pier (we found it upon returning), but overall she enjoyed the novelty. She was disappointed that there were no fairies on the ferry though.

That evening, she drew a picture of a boat, naming the figures she'd scribbled: "Ben and Hannah and Noah and Olivet." I think that is the first time she has drawn a person outside our little family.

On the drive home, she was rattling on excitedly about the park, her friends, the ferry, and the pier.

E: It was just like Clifford!
me: Eh?
E: Just like Clifford! Emily Elizabeth and Clifford met friends on the pier. Just like me!

That reminded me of a comment she made a month ago. We were reading Robert Sabuda's pop-up Alice in Wonderland, which has one spread showing Alice growing so large she bursts out of the house.

"That's just like Clifford! He got so big then they moved to the island. Alice goes to the island, too?"

Indeed.

I laughed, surprised and delighted that she would make such a connection, but also a bit mortified that it was to a TV show. Her viewing is now down to a maximum half hour a day with a movie once or twice a month with me - usually a classic musical because that's the only thing we both find interesting.

Clang clang clang went the trolley,
Ding ding ding went the bell,
Zing zing zing went my heart strings,
From the moment I saw him I fell!

(Yes, I really do burst out into song at home.)

On a completely unrelated note, gut yontif to those who celebrate Pesach this week. Hell hath no fury like a bread-deprived vegan. :)

four months

2008-04-08T17:12:00.000-07:00

Two months ago, I was shaken but slightly hopeful. Today marks four months to the day since I've been existing in pain, anxiety, and despair. Overnight it happened. I look back on cheerful e-mails or posts in the days before the revelation and desperately wish I could go back to blissful ignorance.

For three months, I held in the pain whenever Eliza was around and broke down sobbing each day once she was peacefully napping. I grew weak under the strain and eventually broke down one day about a month ago. In all my 30-odd years, I have never cried as much as I did that Friday. I sobbed for literally hours as Eliza watched TV in the other room. I truly feared losing my mind. By late morning, I had enough sense for a few minutes to page my husband, begging him to come home from work for the first time in 10+ years, knowing that I was incapable of caring for our daughter that day. Five and a half hours later, he finally came through the door.

How I prayed. I was tempted to ask G-d to end my pain, but I feared it would be answered where all others had failed.

I can't quite say what changed in the week after that, but my deep sadness was partially displaced by anger. I don't find it "empowering" - it's eating me alive. But I realized yesterday that it had been weeks since I'd last shed a tear. For two hours last night I expressed my pain and bitterness, which was met with silence. I was able to sleep no more than an hour last night, and just when I thought I was outwardly coping well with the day, I broke down as soon as Eliza was asleep and couldn't stop sobbing for an hour.

I'm trying to take care of Eliza and myself to the best of my ability each day, but some days that just isn't good enough.

Exercise has fallen by the wayside (and my weight loss has stalled) since Eliza decided she was only going to nap a couple days a week at most. I've been struggling to keep up with housework. My first priority this month has been to keep sane, to keep from drowning, and sometimes there just aren't enough hours in the day for everything.

I've been seeing a therapist for a couple months. She wants me to ask myself how I can take care of my needs (short- and long-term) every day. Right now, I only feel capable of surviving each day; I feel incapable of looking much farther ahead than next week.

Books have been a small comfort to me and are often the only way I can concentrate on anything other than my broken life. I've read over 60 books since the New Year - a clip I haven't matched since my daughter was born.

Last Friday I met with an herbalist to address my anxiety, (frequent) headaches, depression, and insomnia. The tincture she made me contains St. John's wort, Siberian ginseng, wild oats, licorice, vitex, skullcap, and California poppy. The medicinal tea has nettles, skullcap, passionflower, lemon balm, and I forget what else. I was told to continue with my couple capsules of valerian before bedtime. (It does help on the nights when I'm less plagued by emotional demons.) It may take weeks to see an effect. Once I'm on steadier ground months from now halevai, she wants me to do a 28-day cleanse again.

I'm spinning out of control, and it's frightening.

tag, I'm it

2008-03-11T07:49:00.000-07:00

I keep meaning to post, but my mind is in a very dark, scary place, and I'm a wreck. Erika at Married with Children.... tagged me. I probably can't come up with 5 interesting things, but if I hesitate, I'll never respond.

* * * * *

Rules: Link to your tagger and post these rules. Share 5 facts about yourself. Tag 5 people at the end of your post and list their names (linking to them). Let them know they've been tagged by leaving a comment at their blogs.

1. I'm a 30-something woman who hasn't been on a first date since age 19.

2. My best friend died when we were 8 years old (her drunk parents picked her up from the babysitter and overturned the car into a marsh); I wasn't allowed to attend the funeral.

3. As a kid, I thought I should be a Republican because I had a puppy crush on Alex P. Keaton (Michael J. Fox's character on Family Ties).

4. As a teen, I had (dyed) black hair and wrote bad poetry about death and insanity.

5. [OK, I guess I should avoid another 'downer' for #5.] I've lost 36 pounds since last fall.

Alright, I guess I need to tag now.

ETA: I tagged The Skolniks, wilson silverleaf family, Adventures of Plenty, Wildwood Cottage, and Homeschooling in the Garden State. That's 5. If anyone else wants to play, consider yourself tagged.

two months

2008-02-06T11:55:00.000-08:00

[written 1/18]

So much has happened that it's hard to know where to begin or how much to reveal here.

Seven weeks ago, I got the shock of my life. My world shattered. I've been grieving and struggling. I don't know what my life will resemble six months from now or even where I'll be living, but it's likely I won't be able to homeschool Eliza in the future, which kills me more than anyone realizes. I haven't been able to be the mother she deserves for the last couple months, which is cruelly ironic considering she's all I have.

* * * * *

[written 2/6]

I wrote the above a couple weeks ago but couldn't make myself post it. I got another shocking revelation last week, from which I'm still reeling, but I'm also more hopeful and stable than I was last month. I still don't know what the future holds, but I've been doing my best to get Eliza out of the house more often.

On a more positive (albeit far less life-altering) note, my house has never been cleaner, I've done a major workout every single weekday for 2 months straight (and have lost quite a bit of weight), and my credit card debt is shrinking. All that is my feeble attempt to change what little I have control over. The other week, I came across the following in Rosemary Remembered by Susan Wittig Albert, and it hit home:

"Have you noticed how often it's the little things - cooking eggs, weeding the garden, changing the oil - that keep us going, keep us sane? It's ordinary life that steadies us when we suddenly bump into something unfathomably dark and huge, hidden like an iceberg under black water."

whose car?

2008-02-06T11:29:00.000-08:00

Eliza: This is your car, Daddy. And that's my car!

Daddy: Don't you mean Mommy's car?

Eliza: No, that's my car! Mommy just drives it.

For twelve years, we've made do with one car. We always chose to live close to where one of us worked or studied in order to make it work. I don't care for my neighborhood, but it was the only location we could afford within a 6-mile radius of my husband's office. He has commuted by bike almost every day in the almost 4 years since we bought the house. It worked out well for me to have the car available for Eliza's sake. We could deal with the occasional inconvenience of having to chauffeur my husband to and from work when it rains (SoCal being a generally sunny place).

That changed a month ago when my husband's division was moved across town to a different office building. Despite his commute being doubled, he has been continuing to bike some days, but he has been having more aches and pains - not to mention the fact that this time of year is what we two call "monsoon season" (most of the year is extremely dry, but in the late winter, it rains hard and frequently). So he finally broke down and bought a second car (a used Corolla).

It's a good thing I have Eliza to set me straight on whose car the Civic is just in case I forget my place.

singin' in the rain

2007-11-30T15:40:00.000-08:00

That little girl makes my heart sing. It has been raining since early morning, and I've had a ho-hum rainy day at home catching up on housework. I was just coming down the stairs after moving over the laundry when I heard her voice:

"I'm singin' in the wain, jus' singin' in the wain. I'm singin' and dancin' in the wain."

There she was out on the wet patio barefoot and dancing. I guess I've been singing that song around the house more than I realized (I saw the movie a few days ago for the hundredth time). Knowing the camera was in the car Chris took to work, I raced to get my camcorder only to see the memory stick was missing. So I just leaned against the doorpost with a grin on my face, and when she urged me to join her, who was I to argue?

silly me

2007-11-29T15:48:00.000-08:00

I just got a pair of socks made of bamboo that have separated toes. Eliza laughed so hard tears squeezed out. Once she could finally speak she said, "Mommy, that's silly! You have gloves on the feet!" then laughed more. I felt like the silly turkey from Blue Hat, Green Hat who kept putting clothes on the wrong body parts, but I don't care - the socks are cozy.

learning notes: November 12-25

2007-11-26T14:21:00.000-08:00

outings

week 1
Tu: library story time + nature walk + play date
W: dance class
Th: fire station field trip + park + IKEA
F: music class + library (again)

The photo on the right is from the short nature walk we do around the pond area each week after our library visit. I love that little wooden bridge.

Music class is on break until 2008 now. Her teacher sure deserves time off from her 20-odd weekly classes.

Dance class went unusually well. Eliza had so much fun and she was more cooperative than she's ever been. There was no class Thanksgiving week, but they'll do another 4 weeks before breaking for 2 then finishing up the final 4 weeks of the quarter in January. The new quarter starts February 1st, and I hope Eliza will be bumped up to the class for 3¼-5-year-olds (no parent participation). Frankly, I'd rather spend the 50 minutes reading than having to participate in pre-ballet, but if they think she'd benefit from another quarter of Mommy & Me, that's what we'll do.

The fire station tour was the monthly field trip for E's home-preschool group. We were about 20 minutes late because of my confusion over the parking and where to enter, so we missed the inside of the fire station because of my incompetence, unfortunately. Eliza was really looking forward to this, but after driving all that way, we only caught the last 8 minutes or so. At least she had a good time at a park afterward. I took a very short video of the fire engine with my new camera, which captures sound as well as video (unlike my stolen camera), but even though I could hear the nice man clearly, it seems my camera couldn't.

week 2
M: Birch Aquarium
Tu: Dead Sea Scrolls exhibit + Natural History Museum + Mingei International Museum
F: Bee Movie

For week 2, we had visitors to entertain. Besides the above, we also went out to eat several times (Chinese, Greek, etc.), which is one of Eliza's favorite things to do.

The big event on Tuesday morning was the Dead Sea Scrolls exhibit. (I forgot my camera that day, but I couldn't take photos inside the exhibit anyhow, but see Brit's October post for great Balboa Park photos.) It was a bit chaotic in there, so the six adults got separated, and my husband ended up with Eliza. Afterward, the three of us (the first out) found each other and spent a half hour in the rest of the Natural History Museum (we only had a short time, but we visit fairly often).

Our next stop was to the Mingei (folk art museum) where it was Free Tuesday. We hadn't been in almost a year, and Eliza really appreciated it this time. Her favorite room was the white computer room (with a chair sculpture that said no sitting - what torture for a little kid), but she was entranced by the fairy doll house made entirely from materials from nature. Other favorites were the rocks found twisted by nature into what coincidentally resembled various landscapes - they said "please touch" - it was such a pleasant surprise for her after so much "just look, don't touch."

On Friday, Eliza had her first-ever visit to the cinema (and my first in exactly 2 years) where we saw Bee Movie. She was such an angel and has talked about the experience frequently in the days since.

learning at home

I have no notes. When we weren't out of the house week one, I spent an absurd amount of hours cleaning the house (which apparently still wasn't good enough), so Eliza even more time than usual self-entertaining. From her point of view, the most interesting thing she did at home all week was to help me assemble DVD cases. I'm not handy in the slightest, but the one thing I can do well is assemble bookshelves and the like. Eliza picked up quite a few new words in the process. She was so proud of herself and excitedly told her father all about it when he got home.

For week two, she spent so many hours helping/observing in the real kitchen and also playing with her kitchen- and tea-themed toys. There was a lot of block and Lego play, too, and lots and lots of tickling. "Pwease tickow me!" she repeatedly begged whomever was nearby. She is one silly goose.

coming soon . . .

This week we're getting back to normal. We had to skip playgroup this morning because I'm ridiculously far behind on laundry, but we plan to do our usual trips to the library, dance class, etc. I'll close with a preview of Eliza's art exploration from this morning - "Tilting Prints" from Preschool Art - that she did with a baking pan and chiming Chinese meditation balls (I didn't have marbles):

learning notes: November 5-11

2007-11-15T08:45:00.000-08:00

This was a very laid-back week. I didn't take many notes or photos.

The big news is that I now have a digital camera! At the Halloween party, a friend gave Eliza a gorgeous handmade black and purple tutu as a belated birthday present and used the occasion as an excuse to buy a camera for me. My jaw was on the floor. I ordered a 2 GB memory card for the camera (in an instant, the maximum number of photos jumped from 5 to 1,500), which didn't arrive until a few days ago. So as of next week, there will be no more grainy camcorder photos.

little yogini

The following photos were from the week earlier, but I just realized I forgot to post them. Ever since her Yoga mat arrived she has been taking it out most days. She wasn't sure what it was at first, and although I'd been into Yoga for many years, I relied on Yoga Kids (a book) to identify what would be appropriate for her age.

butterfly

downward dog

lion (she's growling)

music

She danced even more than usual - sometimes adding up to hours a day. I didn't note exactly what she listened to, although I seem to remember it was a lot of rock and pop on the radio and classical music from CDs. She also asked for and acted out Carnival of the Animals several times. I mentioned that I'm highly sensitive to sounds in general and music in particular. I have a low tolerance for children's music (though there is a lot of it in the house thanks to newborn gifts). That's why Eliza is more familiar with the Beatles than Raffi. Two children's CDs I don't mind are the humorous Philadelphia Chickens and Dog Train, although come to think of it, we haven't listened to those in a long time (foiled by clutter).

art

Although I gathered art supplies to be able to do any number of projects from Preschool Art, we didn't end up doing any of them. I was feeling lazy last week, so whenever Eliza asked to do art, I'd just hand her paper and crayons or markers and mini dry erase board. She usually doesn't find it quite as interesting as paint, but I was feeling rather unmotivated.

cooking

Eliza helped a substantial amount with popcorn and pita bread (on different days). She has a Learning Tower, which is a kitchen observation platform for kids (although it can double as a puppet show stage). I cook at least five dinners from scratch each week, and this way, Eliza can observe without getting in the way.

Popcorn is one of her favorite things to cook. I pull over the LT to the range, and we wait until the three test kernels have popped. Once that happens, Eliza's job is to dump the pre-measured kernels into the pan, I replace the glass lid, and we watch the magic happen. I ended up sprinkling nutritional yeast on her portion, and she thought it was delicious. "This kid can't be related to me," I thought. (I hate the taste of nutritional yeast and only use it in small quantities in recipes that call for it, like Isa's seitan. I think I'm going to lose my vegan card for admitting I greatly dislike "nooch.")

Early Monday morning we baked 100% whole wheat pita bread. Eliza is mesmerized watching dough go 'round and 'round on my mixer's dough hook. Once it had risen, Eliza helped with rolling the six portions into balls, then used the French pin to roll them out. I thought I'd have to finish the job, but she did so well and rolled them to just the right thickness that I kept them adorably lopsided as-is!

Mediterranean autumn lunch:

1. black bean and orange hummus (Eat, Drink & Be Vegan)
2. Eliza-made 100% whole wheat pita bread
3. pomegranate seeds
4. stuffed grape leaves

The grape leaves weren't homemade. I spied organic stuffed grape leaves in a tin and decided to give them a shot. Unfortunately, they use white rice, and they weren't nearly as tasty (of course) as those at Café Athena or even the time I made my own at home, so that's two strikes against them. I haven't ever been able to find plain organic grape leaves locally, so I may have to see if I can locate a jar online.

We loved the hummus though (I've now made it twice). My parsley plant finally grew big and hearty enough that it could spare a quarter cup for the hummus. Eliza gets so excited when I tell her it's time to gather herbs from the patio.

outings

M: playgroup
R: playgroup
F: music class

We had to miss dance class on Wednesday, and I wasn't feeling well Friday, so Chris took Eliza to music class before work. We spent more time indoors than usual last week, which didn't do Eliza's mood any favors - she was happy while dancing or at playgroup, but she also threw way too many all-out screaming fits. I didn't have the best time coping with her tantrums and my falling even more behind on housework, and I didn't get to read as much as I'd like, which tends to make me grumpy.

This current week has been happier for Eliza, but now I'm under a lot of stress preparing for the holiday and more than a week of house guests. I'll do what I can and try not to worry about the rest.

7 weird things

2007-11-14T16:38:00.000-08:00

Sara tagged me for 7 weird things. Someone tagged me for 8 things I like about myself awhile ago, and I tried to write that post, but there literally aren't 8 things I like about myself. Weird I can do.

Rules:
1- Link to the person that tagged you and post the rules on your blog.
2- Share 7 random and or weird things about yourself.
3- Tag 7 random people at the end of your post and include links to their blogs.
4- Let each person know that they have been tagged by leaving a comment on their blog.

7 random or weird things:
1. I have this bulge that pops out of my wrist when I press on just the right place on my palm; it looks like a beating heart.
2. I've had chronically dislocating knees since my earliest memories. This used to be a very painful and not infrequent problem when I lived in the icy Midwest, but since moving to SoCal, it only happens about once every two years.
3. I'm petrified of horses (although I liked the idea of them as a kid - just not the real McCoy).
4. I'm hypersensitive to background music, architecture, etc. There are many places I avoid because of this.
5. I'm a stickler for grammar and spelling (I welcome typo correction - I consider it a favor akin to telling a friend discreetly that there's lettuce in her teeth or her fly is open).
6. I like a clean house but despise housework and avoid it whenever possible. My neat freak husband keeps me in line. That reminds me: it's already 5, and I still haven't started the single task I was assigned for the whole day.
7. I'd take Joshua Bell over George Clooney.

I'm not going to follow #3 and 4 (due in part to shyness and also a healthy disregard for rules), but please feel free to play along if you're so inclined.

learning notes: late October

2007-11-05T08:01:00.000-08:00

Thanks to Nina for the idea of posting my weekly learning notes. I jotted down plenty of notes for the week of October 15-21, but the following two weeks were too chaotic between the wildfires one week and being a temporary single mom the next (Chris had a business trip to New Jersey). Unfortunately, although I still have my notes from the week of the 15th, it has now been long enough that many of the details escape me, so in the future, I'll be sure to post for the week by Sunday so it's still fresh in my head.

outings

T: library visit & nature walk
W: dance class
R: field trip to an organic vegetable farm
F: music class & Quail Botanical Gardens
N: San Diego Natural History Museum

On the 18th, Eliza's homeschool-preschoolers field trip group went to La Milpa Organica up in North County. Check out Jen's post - she took far better photos than I. Eliza's favorite part by far was yanking carrots and radishes from the ground (and eating them). I wish we had more room in the narrow strip of earth that surrounds our patio for more than a few herbs.

Here's a photo of Eliza among the giant bamboo at Quail Botanical Gardens. We have a membership, but we don't go as often as I'd like because of the distance. It's a very peaceful place with a stunning waterfall and distinct geographical themes. There's a children's garden there, too, but as Eliza spends the entire time holed up in the wooden cottage (not that there's anything wrong with that...), I much prefer the main gardens.

book theme: dragons

Puff the Magic Dragon
Where's the Dragon?
Dragons and Other Beasts
George and the Dragon
Behold the Dragons

music

Carnival of the Animals

Eliza hadn't listened to (or seen the book for) Carnival of the Animals in so long that it was new to her. I thought she might enjoy sitting on the sofa, having me read aloud the text of the picture book as the music played. She did that at first, but soon enough she thought to jump to her feet and act out the different animals (her favorite? kangaroo jumping on the piano keys). Ever since, Eliza has been asking to listen to the CD almost daily. She no longer wants me to read the picture book, but now she has directed me to two new jobs. First, she insists I have to get down the book at the start and lay it open on the recliner; once each section/animal ends, she runs over and flips the page, says to herself the animal and/or instrument to get psyched up for her next dance interpretation. The other job she gave me is to hold her horizontally in the air for the bird and aquarium parts, which is not best for my back, but to fly through the air gives her such joy.

Tosca

Thank goodness Eliza doesn't know Italian, that's all I can say, because Mama needs her opera fix. I include this because even listening to an act or two takes up a large chunk of our time, and also because, although I consider this "me time," Eliza loves, loves, loves to dance to opera CDs. So while I'm curled up with eyes closed or reading the libretto or commentaries, Eliza twirls about. Often she'll go off and play with blocks or such, then come back to dance more. Sometimes she comments to me on how the singer is feeling, but as Tosca's isn't a kid-friendly plot, I'm not about to elaborate.

art

I already wrote about that in this post. Most of the activities were from First Art by Maryann F. Kohl, but Eliza did "pipe cleaner garland" (MathArts) and the inaugural Unplugged Project.

The garland activity simply involved making a chain of pipe cleaners alternating (2 or 3) colors in a pattern. Eliza had never seen pipe cleaners, so she was fascinated by them. After she was done, she thought it would make a great necklace but was frustrated that the links kept coming apart (that's because after just one example from me, she made all the other links herself).

etc.

"ball bounce" (Slow & Steady Get Me Ready)

The object of that activity is to drop a ball straight down and catch it on the up-bounce. Eliza had no success in that area, but the second day we tried it, she discovered that a damp soccer ball makes a cool print on the patio, so from then on, we both had fun making water prints all over the patio with bouncing balls and her wooden cars.

art explorations

2007-10-22T13:45:00.000-07:00

art activities: 16-22 October

I'm not done with this post, but I need to post it today for the First Unplugged Project. I'll finish it up tomorrow.

First Unplugged Project

Thanks to Mom Unplugged for suggesting this group project and to Jenny for spreading the word!

On Friday, Eliza and I went to the Quail Botanical Gardens to enjoy a pleasant couple hours and also to be on the look-out for anything on the ground with an interesting texture. I only ended up bringing back three items: a fern frond, a Magnolia leaf, and a whatchamacallit from Araucaria columnaris, the New Caledonia Pine native to Australia.

Eliza spent a few minutes on it today, then lost interest. I'm keeping it out just in case she's more in the mood to try more later. She has been very unfocused today. I think being housebound due to the wildfires has made us all a little stir-crazy. So far, our neighborhood is not threatened (the high school is serving as an evacuation center), but the neighborhoods immediately north and east of ours are under mandatory evacuation orders.

Early Scissors Experience: Stage 3 - Paper Factory

This was just a simple activity to work on scissors coordination. Eliza has her own pair of blunt-tipped scissors that she can use at any time with supervision. Usually, I give her junk mail to cut up, but on Monday and Wednesday of last week, I gave her patterned tissue paper and semi-heavy card stock for a change of texture and color.

Snow Paint

The snow is simply a mixture of flour, salt, and water, which looks like slush on black paper.

This paper was the one she was most proud to show to her daddy when he got home from work. "Look, I made snow!" Funnily enough, Eliza has never touched snow in her life - she has only seen snowflakes and snowmen through picture books.

Here's a video of the process.

Zooming Wheels

I uploaded a video to YouTube, but I haven't figured out how to embed it here yet, and I didn't take a still photo. Eliza took her wooden cars, dipped them in washable tempera paint, and zoomed all over the paper.

First Rubbings

Usually I stay out of Eliza's art explorations, but this time I did about a quarter of the rubbings because she isn't familiar with them, looked confused, and asked for help. Once she saw that patterns emerge when you scribble with the chalk, she thought it was a great activity - she still didn't get it (she would say before scribbling on a random patch, "now I'm going to make a key!"), but she found it entertaining.

diva's 3rd birthday

2007-10-18T18:20:00.000-07:00

My baby girl is 3!

All she said she wanted for her birthday was cake and for kids to sing "Happy Birthday." Since we weren't having a party for her, we got permission from her Thursday playgroup to bring cupcakes.

On the left are "cookies 'n' cream" and on the right are "pumpkin chocolate chip with cinnamon icing" (both from Vegan Cupcakes Take Over the World) - the latter I managed to make soy-free. I liked the chocolate ones better (of course), but Eliza really enjoyed both! And it looked like the others kids liked them, too.

Eliza had a great time Thursday. There was a tie-dye project, but she was too distracted by the swimming pool and other kids.

Thanks to Jen for the great photos from Thursday (posted with permission). My camcorder was missing its memory card, so I couldn't take my own photos, so that's why these are actually in focus.

On Friday, her actual birthday, her dad took the day off work. We started out the day at music class (as we do every Friday morning) where Miss Carol ended class with "Happy Birthday" on the resonator bars. Eliza looks still and quiet, but it really made an impression on her. She spent nearly a week talking about the playgroup kids and Miss Carol and the whole puppet theater audience singing "Happy Birthday" to her. Extended celebration indeed.

After music class, we had some down time at home before going to the puppet theater in Balboa Park to see a bilingual show of "The Little Red Hen" and "The Rabbit on the Moon." There was a sign at the box office to notify them of a child's birthday, so besides the song, Eliza got a coupon for a free visit and a giraffe finger puppet.

We had planned to visit the pumpkin patch in the post-nap afternoon, but poor Chris was out for hours until early evening for what I thought would be a very short errand. One of us had to pick up the monthly co-op goodies and the other had to bake a cake - we both thought he got the quicker job. I baked "apple cardamom cake with lemon-maple frosting" (Vive le Vegan!), and it wasn't terribly attractive with that beige frosting, but it was so good - moist and a little dense like carrot cake. It was more nutritious than the cupcakes with considerably less sugar, but then again, we didn't have a big group with which to share. We each had a slice a day until it was gone.

Finally, we made it to the pumpkin patch on Sunday. The above photo is from the hay ride, which Eliza thought was fantastic (see crinkled nose). Eliza was so excited to pick out her own pumpkins (to paint). Chris and I each got one to carve, and threw in a white one that we'll stuff with chili and bake.

I managed to make it through her birthday without crying (although I almost lost it when I said good-night to my 2-year-old knowing I'd wake up to a 3-year-old).

kidlit blogger recommendations

2007-10-15T14:52:00.000-07:00

This post has been sitting in draft for two weeks now! I really have been slacking on blogging and book reviews - it's part laziness, part paralyzing perfectionism.

I get so many wonderful book recommendations from other blogs. I told myself I'd post about them more than a month ago but never got around to it. Besides noting where I heard of these books, I did write reviews, intending to paste them into a blog entry and add further comments on Eliza's reactions, but it has been so long now, that I'd better post the reviews as-is.

I know the high star marks make it look like I'm really easy to please, but of the couple thousand books I've rated on LibraryThing, my average is 3½ (and of the books Eliza hands to me at the library, my average rating would be under 2). 1 is unspeakably awful, 2 is a waste of time, 3 is decent, 4 is very good, 5 is bloody fantastic.

I checked out two books mentioned in Kate's post:

Little Beaver and the Echo, Amy MacDonald

A lonely beaver hears his own echo one day and believing it to be someone also in want of a friends, travels through the pond habitat in search of the echo. Of course, he never does find the echo, but what he does find is something real and meaningful.

The pond ecosystem is illustrated by Sarah Fox-Davies in cozy watercolors. This gentle story of friendship is lovely and understated, sweet but saccharine-free. (ages 2-5) ( )

My Crayons Talk, Patricia Hubbard

This little girl's crayons sure have minds of their own. Each expresses its style:

"Gold brags, 'Fine,
Dress up time.'
Silver toots, 'Grand,
Marching band.'"

The girl's dresses change to match each scene. The mud-pie dress on the brown page made me laugh, although my little city girl hasn't yet heard of cow-pies - she liked the silver page best with its dog and cat playing flute (our last picture book theme was animals making music).

The art is mostly in crayon and suitably playful for the subject. We'll surely revisit this lively book. (ages 2-5) ( )

The following were recommended by Nina:

Once a Mouse: A Fable Cut in Wood, Marcia Brown

Once Upon a Mouse won the 1961 Caldecott medal (awarded for art in picture books), and with its innovative wood cuts, it's easy to see why. The wood-cut art is well-suited to the Indian fable it decorates.

The fable follows an old hermit in the forest who one day saves a mouse from being a crow's prey. Now the mouse's protector, the hermit magically transforms the mouse into larger and larger creatures to avoid threats from other animals. Once a tiger, the former mouse forgets his humble origins and grows arrogant and himself threatening. There's a moral to the fable, of course, but children need not be old enough to understand it to appreciate this story of transformation. (ages 2-6) ( )

Amazing Grace, Mary Hoffman

Amazing Grace's plucky African-American heroine loved stories and acting them out. "And she always gave herself the most exciting part," we are told. With homegrown theatrical magic, she transforms herself into Joan of Arc, Anansi the Spider, Hiawatha, and more. Her imagination did not limit her to roles of her own ethnicity, gender, or species.

When casting for the school play of Peter Pan begins, Grace knows she's right to play Peter, but her classmates try to discourage her, pointing out that Peter is a white boy. Grace's mother and grandmother encourage her, the latter taking her to a ballet performance of Romeo and Juliet starring a beautiful Trinidadian dancer, renewing Grace's determination to audition for Peter Pan.

What's not to love about this book? The story itself is fantastic, the illustrations are top-notch, and the female characters are strong and confident. (ages 3-7) ( )

I didn't review the "My First Little House" series from Jenny's post. We ended up checking out a half dozen. A couple were problematic for our family (e.g. deer hunting), so I had to return them straight away, but Eliza did enjoy the others. Her favorite of the bunch was Dance at Grandpa's. Although I loved the Little House books as a young girl, it was hard to pin down what I would think of these picture books if the originals had never existed - in other words, how much of it is the nostalgia factor?

From another of Jenny's posts, I checked out:

Anno's Counting Book, Mitsumasa Anno

Anno's Counting Book is unlike any other I've seen. It's not boring, or glib, or hit-you-over-the-head obvious. The book begins with zero's barren snow-covered landscape. Each page finds more people, trees, or buildings arriving on the land as settles build up the town. Spring arrives with "three" and the town continues to bloom. By "seven" (July), the little village is in the full swing of summer with its seven pines, seven buildings, seven chimneys, seven children, seven adults, seven cows, seven colors of the rainbow, seven sheets line-drying in the summer breeze, etc. The numbers go up through twelve (December), each page showing not just things to count but the progression of the seasons and village life. (ages 2-7) ( )

Some Things Go Together, Charlotte Zolotow (written), Ashley Wolff (illustrated)

Some Things Go Together is a simple picture book with just 6-7 words per scene, each with rhyming pairs that go together: "Hats with heads / Pillow with beds," "White with snow / Wind with blow," etc. "Me with you" (or "you with me") is mentioned three times. The 1999 Wolff illustrations are sweet and colorful, but I found the text awkward, and my daughter was so bored she didn't care to read it a second time (thank goodness it was a library book). (ages 1-2) ( )

Three Pebbles and a Song, Eileen Spinelli (written), S. D. Schindler (illustrated)

Moses the mouse has a song in his heart and rhythm in his feet. While his parents and sister gather food in preparation for winter, Moses twirls and skitters among the leaves, learns a shicka-whish song to whistle from the wind, and juggles pebbles with a catch-a-toss-catch . . . much to his family's disapproval.

By the time winter arrives, the family has plenty to eat, but boredom soon sets in. Moses' three pebbles and a song are just what the family needs. As the dust jacket reads, "Eileen Spinelli has an especially soft spot for the littlest mouse in this story, who, like herself, understands that play can be just as valuable as work."

S. D. Schindler's gouache and watercolor illustrations on marbelized paper are a charming delight with such exquisite attention to detail. This is a beautiful book and is not to be missed. (ages 2-6) ( )

Here Is the Tropical Rain Forest, Madeleine Dunphy (written), Michael Rothman (illustrated)

Here Is the Tropical Rain Forest is a wonderful introduction to rain forests for preschoolers (but too repetitive with too little information for older kids). Each page builds on the last in "The House That Jack Built" style. Parents may find the text a bit dull, but the gorgeous illustrations will draw in children and adults alike.

At the end of the book is a page with thumbnail illustrations of all the animals met in the previous pages and their official names. A note says they all live in the rain forests of Central and South America, but that's the extent of the information offered. Still, this lovely book is a good antidote to ecophobia-only nature education. (ages 1½-4) ( )

And, finally, this one wasn't a recommendation, but I found it in the library next to the other rain forest book:

Welcome to the Green House, Jane Yolen (written), Laura Regan (illustrated)

Besides having beautiful illustrations (thanks to Laura Regan), Welcome to the Green House has the most marvelous text of any ecology picture book I've read.

The book opens by describing a rain forest as a green house with ropey vines as view-framing windows and fallen leaves as a floor. Yolen's text has a sophisticated simplicity that rolls off the tongue. Onomatopoeia abounds:

"with the high chitter-chitter-rrrrr
of the golden lion tamarin
warning off intruders;
with the kre-ek, kre-ek, kre-ek
of keel-billed toucans
feeding on ripe, sweet figs"

Green House captures the richness of sounds, smells, and sights that is the rain forest. You won't find encyclopedia-like information here, but that belongs in another book - enjoy this one for its beauty. (ages 2-6) ( )

dance class: week 2

2007-10-03T12:01:00.000-07:00

I have a book post almost ready to go. I had a cold from the weekend through yesterday (my first in almost 2 years), which was really annoying, but at least it was relatively mild and short. Even so, I was a hermit for four days to avoid giving it to others.

I wanted to be absolutely certain Eliza really wanted to go to dance class again. She said last week that she'd had fun, but it wasn't in a bouncing-off-the-walls-thrilled tone of voice. All week I waited until she brought up the subject, and it seemed with each day, she was asking to go back more often and with more urgency. So once I woke up feeling quite well this morning, I told her that dance class happens today. "Would you like to go?" "Oh yeah!!! I want to wear my yee-uh-tard!"

She did much better than last week. She still doesn't wish to participate vocally in the circle that starts and ends class, but she was in great spirits. There were no freak-outs, no requests to go home . . . just smiles. For chassé (last week's "I want to go home..." moment), most of the girls went across the floor with their moms, but once a pair of girls went across giggling. When it was Eliza's turn, I started getting up, but Eliza whispered to me that she didn't want to do it with me. I thought she meant she wanted to skip it, but she hopped to her feet and held her hands out to the little girl next to us and off they went with their chassé full of meandering, laughing, and squealing in delight.

Last week was a free trial, so we had to sign up officially this week and are paid through Halloween. It's still up to her whether to go each week, but if she decides she doesn't want to go half the time in the next four weeks, I probably won't sign her up for the next quarter (Nov. 1 - Jan. 31) as that's a much larger financial commitment.

Happy due date to Eliza!

2007-09-29T06:50:00.000-07:00

Today is the 3rd anniversary of Eliza's due date. However, her birthday is still 2 weeks away. Yes, she has been causing her poor mother great worry even before she made her entrance.

In the last year, she has gotten really into birthdays and birthday parties, yet we have nothing at all planned for her. I feel like a louse, but I'm worthless with parties. All Eliza wants, as she has reminded us over and over again, is to have a cake and for kids to sing "happy boofday to Zaza!" A cake I can do, but she might have to be satisfied having only her parents sing. She went on for weeks talking about Chris's (peach upside-down) birthday cake in August. Sugar makes an impression.

update and dance class

2007-09-27T14:16:00.000-07:00

No, we didn't fall off the face of the planet. I've just been too overwhelmed lately with holidays and being a (temporary) single mom to deal with anything aside from e-mail. Chris was on the other coast for a week and a half - poor guy spent the week eating at nice restaurants and seeing Monty Python's Spamalot on Broadway (OK, so he had to work long hours in Joisey, too - it wasn't all fun).

Everything fell apart while C was gone. The dishwasher's motor broke, the car's battery died, Eliza took my cell phone for a bath, there were tantrums aplenty, and I broke down so many times. On Tuesday at Balboa Park, I must have been sporting a neon "kick me when I'm down" sign on my forehead because two strangers insulted my parenting. The first comment was a sneering "some people don't care about their children's health" when that mom caught me giving Eliza a few sips of root beer (the first pop I've had in many, many months). The second came an hour later when Eliza had a meltdown, her screams echoing. An old lady spat at us, "You are a brat! And you are a bad mother!" Thanks, lady, that was really helpful. I can be glib about it now, but that really hurt me last week.

Eliza tried out dance class yesterday for the first time. The vegan (polished canvas) ballet slippers were still back-ordered in pink and in size 10, so I ordered white in 10½ and dyed them myself. They turned out a rose pink, not a muted ballet pink, but I'm just happy I didn't ruin them.

The dance studio is 1½ miles from our house, very close to the library. The receptionist suggested we try the "Mommy & Me" class on Wednesday morning. Since Eliza was old enough for both "Mommy & Me" (22 mo. - 3 years) and "Creative Dance" (3 - 5 years), I was worried that after we tried "Mommy & Me," they'd tell us to do "Creative Dance" instead because the latter is without parents. When Eliza tries something new, she's far more open, but once she experiences something/somewhere once, she gets it in her head that this is the only way it should be from now on and can't deal with changes. This particular class skewed toward the older side, so Eliza didn't stick out like a sore thumb. Although E was the tallest there, I suspect two or three of the girls are older based on appearance. It's not a baby class, as I thought it might be.

The instructor is Miss Carolyn. She's very energetic and warm, and I liked her immediately. The class includes a lot of dance (some choreographed, some free dance), of course, and there are a lot of games and much silliness involved. I heartily approved. Eliza was all grins during the group dances and games, but she got mildly upset when the attention was on her. Whenever Miss Carolyn asked her a question, Eliza would bury her face against me. Once, she mumbled a response ("purple") into my shoulder, which is actually a big deal for her, because I think that was the first time she has every responded to a stranger's question. Later, when each mother and daughter pair were to chassé across the floor, Eliza became very anxious and curled up in a ball on the floor and moaned twice, "Mommy, I want to go home." I whispered to her that she didn't have to do anything she didn't want to do. I told her we could go home if she wanted, but asked if she'd like to sit in the corner with me and watch (she did).

Then when Miss Carolyn brought out a box of frilly white "Sleeping Beauty skirts," Eliza's eyes got wide. She raced across the floor without me to get one. The "Sleeping Beauty" game involved lying on the floor pretending to sleep when the music was off and free dancing around the room when the music was on (repeat, and so on). When I saw the others moms getting up and joining in, I reluctantly got up (big/clumsy and dance don't mix), but Eliza barked at me from 20 feet away, "No, Mommy. You have to sit down!" and continued to twirl about the room. Everyone laughed, and Miss Carolyn said something to Eliza about being "Miss Independent" all of a sudden when minutes earlier she asked to go home.

One of the moms came up to me after class and said not to worry, that her daughter asked to go home more than twice in her first class. Miss Carolyn said that a few kids just sit against a wall refusing to participate for a month but eventfully join in, so she thought Eliza handled it well. Miss Carolyn asked Eliza if she'd see us next week. Eliza buried her head against my leg, but I told her that I would be happy to sign up E if that's what she wants, so I'm going to wait to see if she asks to return in the next week.

green lynx spider

2007-09-27T13:24:00.000-07:00

Last week we had another unusual spider visitor. We have a lot of spiders and webs in our tiny patio garden, but I've never seen one quite like this. I did a little investigating online and found out that it's Peucetia viridans, the green lynx spider (more photos here).

I found out that the green lynx is an especially good insect hunter but harmless to people. Most oddly, it spins no web. It waits on flowers or shrubs for an insect to fly by and shoots out its sticky harpoon. I didn't see this happen, but a little later I saw it chewing on a fly.

This spider ended up sitting on that rose for two days before it moved on to greener pastures. Eliza was very disappointed that her spider had gone. This from the child who comforted me for being scared of the black widow.

black widow

2007-09-09T20:18:00.000-07:00

Armed with a flashlight, Eliza's daddy took her out for a spin around the subdivision on her tricycle post-sundown, pre-dinner. When I came outside to greet them just as they were coming home, Chris was the first to see the spider. Before the flashlight hit it, all I saw was the size, and I thought to myself, "at least it's not as big as Jen's spider."

I shrieked when I saw the shiny red hourglass on the black body (the abdomen was surprisingly large) and knew immediately what it must be even though I'd never seen one in person. Chris was in charge of keeping Eliza away, and I rushed inside to get the camcorder (with the zoom, I could stay safely away). All I recorded was an empty web as the bugger disappeared when Chris shined the flashlight.

Although I'd heard black widows exist in this part of the country, I never actually imagined one would make a web on my house. I don't suppose it will just find somewhere else to live if I destroy its web with a broom handle? I didn't think so. I read on Wiki that bites are very rarely fatal to healthy adults, but since I have a 33-pound child, I'm quite concerned.

Update: Chris told me he had killed the black widow while I was upstairs. He said it worried him knowing that Eliza and I go within a foot of the web when we check the mail daily. He said when he went outside again, he found it back on the web; again it scurried into the crack, but Chris said he was able to get in there and crush it with a piece of wood from the garage.

sandpaper letters

2007-09-06T14:15:00.000-07:00

I finally got around to starting on those sandpaper letters a couple days ago. I now have the 16 consonant cards completed and have started work on the vowels. Cutting through mat board with dull scissors: not so easy.

I read Montessori Read & Write some time ago and noted that Eliza was around "level 3" (of phonemic awareness) then, which the book says is a good time to introduce sandpaper letters. It looks like she's at "level 4" now, but dear ol' mom is a bit slow. :) I'm not a very crafty person. (Digging out art supplies and letting Eliza loose on them is more my speed.)

From Livable Learning (a free website - I donated because I found it useful), I printed out the "MM Script" template and took the idea of making the cards 3" x 5" so they can fit in an index card holder. From Montessori Read & Write, I took the idea of placing the letters on the right-hand side (for right-handed children - Eliza is strongly so) to make it easier to steady the card with the left hand while tracing the sandpaper letter with the right.

Eliza continues to enjoy the "I Spy..." games at home, and I'm hoping she'll dig these sandpaper letters (I've been holding off on introducing them until the set is completed), especially since most of her beloved wooden letter magnets have disappeared from the fridge (who knows where) over the last year. One game she herself invented is to string together the magnets to make some nonsense word and ask me to pronounce it.

(Alas, I still don't have a new camera, but I've been trying to make do with the poor-resolution still photos that my camcorder can take.)

...in which Eliza leads story time

2007-09-06T13:55:00.000-07:00

You can lead a kid to bed, but you can't make her fall asleep. Eliza went down happily for her nap today, but when I still heard her bumping around a half hour later, I went to check on her. I gasped when I saw the tall chest of drawers toppled over on the floor with two drawers entirely removed. There was Eliza sitting straight up in bed, "reading" the Alice's Adventures in Wonderland pop-up book (by the incomparable Sabuda) to her stuffed animals and dolls, all thoughtfully propped up against the pillows so they could all witness the fabulous paper engineering.

Although I hope I was successful in impressing on her the danger in climbing furniture (oddly, I didn't hear any crash from downstairs, and it's the only thing over 4 feet tall that's not bolted to studs), I couldn't find it in me to be too cross about her playing story time with her animals.

I do need to relocate Alice and Wonderland so it doesn't meet the same fate as the shredded pop-up Hanukkah Bugs. It had been on top of the chest of drawers, which I naively thought was out of diva's reach. Eliza is usually very gentle with books, but she can't resist feeling up pop-ups.

she finds her voice

2007-08-31T15:19:00.000-07:00

It's a bit of a paradox that while Eliza is such an adventurous child that she also tends to be shy, especially around adults. Ask her a question and she'll bury her head in my side to avoid your gaze.

Eliza has seen Miss Carol, the music class teacher, nearly ever week for more than 2 years, and although Eliza speaks very warmly of Miss Carol at home, as soon as we get to the studio she clams up. She thoroughly enjoys music class with all the rhythm instruments, marching, and dancing, and it's all she can talk about from the moment she wakes up on Fridays. But once there, she won't say a word except to whisper something in my ear, and she certainly wouldn't sing . . .

. . . until today. At first, I heard her singing the lyrics to the CD music very softly, almost whispering. But then when the stretchy band (think a giant 8-foot-diameter rainbow-colored scrunchy) came out for the song sequence of "Twinkle Little Star," "Baa Baa Black Sheep," and the ABC song, she sang quite clearly. With each song, her voice grew louder and more confident until it was one of the loudest in the room. I was astonished. Miss Carol looked quite surprised herself and afterward said proudly to the class, "this young lady knew every word to every song" and beamed at Eliza. Eliza promptly buried her head in my side.

It will be interesting to see if today was a fluke or if Eliza has changed her tune about singing outside home.

On a side note, the one time in music class that Eliza becomes quite outgoing is while dancing. In our home, music plays for hours a day. Sometimes I flip through the radio stations, and other times we listen to CDs from our small collection or the public library's enormous one. Eliza dances to anything and everything. Chris and I were discussing this recently since he was the one who has always said he thinks she'd love a dance class more than any other. I told him there was a little studio just 1½ miles down the road that has "creative movement" for 3- and 4-year-olds and wondered what he would think of that for later this year or early next year. I was a bit surprised when he suggested it for Eliza's 3rd birthday present (I thought he'd say "next year," especially in light of the camera incident).

Eliza now has an inexpensive black leotard and pink tights, which are going to be her Halloween costume (at least they'll be useful for fun dress-up clothes even if Eliza decides she doesn't like a dance class). I called a dance studio in Brooklyn about its vegan ballet slippers, knowing that they're often back-ordered, and sure enough they were. The studio near our house insists on pink slippers, but the Brooklyn studio only has white in stock, so I was told to call back in a few weeks to see if the pink polished canvas fabric has arrived - if it hasn't, I can order white slippers and dye them myself, but considering the last time I dyed anything, my hair looked like it had been nuked, I'm a bit hesitant. I may have to resort to begging a crafty friend to do it for me in exchange for baked goods.

missing the camera

2007-08-27T16:56:00.000-07:00

I had so many photos I wanted to post, but I hadn't gotten around to uploading them from my camera for almost a month. A few weeks ago, we attended an outdoor family-friendly concert with Eliza and brought our camera. Once we returned to our car, however, I noticed our camera was not with us. Chris became very angry and spat that I didn't deserve to have anything of value. We got in the car and went back to the concert site ASAP. I was relieved to find the hemp shopping bag where I had put the camera (in its case), but then my heart sank when I saw the camera wasn't inside. It had taken us 20 minutes to walk to the car, and in that time, our (overlooked) bag was unattended.

Yes, I'm bitter. It was a half-broken camera, but I could still rig it to work, and some camera is better than none at all. But what really upsets me isn't just that our camera was stolen and that we can't afford a new one at the moment. What upsets me most are the dozens of photos I lost and the hundreds I won't be able to take until I can get another camera. I won't even have a photo of my daughter's 3rd birthday.

So it's going to be awhile before I can post original photos again. I had taken some of my best food photos in July - what a pity. I can't recall what they all were at the moment, but I do remember all our August desserts:

kamut-hemp chews (Vive le Vegan!)
crispy rice treats (The Hip Chick's Guide to Macrobiotics)
peach upside-down cake (Fatfree Vegan blog entry; see also VeganYumYum's take on it) w/ Good Karma's Organic Rice Divine [very vanilla flavor]

It looks like a lot for a month, but I was able to bring the kamut-hemp cookies and rice treats to potlucks, and that includes all desserts (I didn't even have a chocolate bar) since the only sweet thing I could eat at C's company picnic was watermelon.

The cake was for Chris's birthday. I had printed out Susan's recipe thinking we should have it while peaches are still in season, and even though his birthday was still weeks away, Chris brought the print-outs to me and asked what my plans were for it because he sure would like it for his birthday. I was surprised because Chris is a pie and cookie person who usually doesn't care for cake. But as it turns out, he and Eliza both ate the cake while moaning about how good it was.

library theme: animals making music

2007-08-12T12:25:00.000-07:00

We got to the library just 15 minutes before closing time a little over a week ago. I needed to return a book but didn't intend to check out any since I didn't have my list and Eliza hadn't given any topic suggestions - I thought perhaps we'd head to the armchairs to read until closing, then go see the ducks at the adjacent pond. Eliza had other ideas.

The catalog computers with their tall stools caught her attention yet again. ...click-clack-click-clack... Instead of standing around tapping my foot impatiently, I nosed through the picture book shelves just a few feet away. Olivia Forms a Band caught my eye - I'd been meaning to check it out sometime since Eliza is fond of Olivia (maybe it's a fellow diva thing). 10 minutes until closing. I did a quick scan of the shelves to find another book about music, so marked by the librarian with an eighth note spine sticker. Rock 'n' Roll Dogs and The Song of Six Birds jumped out at me. That's when I thought maybe I could make a quick theme of animals playing music. I knew I had a few books at home that would fit.

The next morning, Eliza noticed the library picture books on the coffee table. "I see Olivia!!" she squealed. I had a feeling she, being an animal and music lover, would enjoy the books, and was I ever right. We've read each of the six library books at least twice a day for the past ten days. And considering I didn't have time to preview them at the library, they were a decent bunch.

Olivia Forms a Band (2006), Ian Falconer

Olivia the porcine diva is dreaming big again. When her mother announces that the family is going to see fireworks that evening, Olivia insists that fireworks without a band is just not kosher. Recruiting her family is met with worried here-we-go-again looks, but Olivia is not deterred. My favorite line from Olivia comes after Olivia's mother tells her a band has to sound like more than one person: "This morning you told me I sounded like five people!" (Echoing similar refrains in our house.)

Eliza's favorite page was the one with the fireworks (['faɪəʃʊks] in Eliza's idiolect), which she still remembers from the 4th of July.

One thing that pleased me was to see Olivia being considerate of her siblings in piecing together her one-pig band (although she appears to snatch her father's suspenders without asking), giving them something they want in exchange for their toy musical instruments.

As with the other Olivia books, Falconer's palette is spare black-and-white, punctuated with splashes of red and blue. The expressions on his characters' faces are so masterful that they tell at least as much of the story as does the prose.

A couple quibbles I have are the ever-present baby bottle (with no adult nearby) and the non-sequitur final page with its depiction of what Olivia's dreaming (I suspect it was put there to give adults a chuckle as I can't imagine the vast majority of the book's target audience would recognize it - Eliza wanted to know who those people were), but overall I found it as charming as Eliza did.

Froggy Plays in the Band (2002), Jonathan London (written), Frank Remkiewicz (illustrated)

I saw on LibraryThing that there are quite a few "Froggy" books written by London. Last summer, we checked out a book about Froggy learning to swim. I tend to be leery of repeating characters in picture books (Olivia notwithstanding) because the stories tend to be uninspired more often than not, and this book did not buck the trend.

Froggy decides to enter a marching band contest that advertises a big prize, so he gathers together his friends into a ragtag marching band. The outcome is not terribly important, but the messages are conflicting. I'm a bit troubled by the emphasis on competition - that Froggy decides to learn the saxophone (['fæfəfoʊn] to Eliza) not for its own sake but to win a contest. On a positive note, Froggy shows determination in practicing day and night and in not allowing an accident during the parade to derail him. I just wish the ol' boy could be more internally motivated.

Who Bop? (2000), Jonathan London (written), Henry Cole (illustrated)

There's a sock hop tonight and the animals are coming two by two to dance to the jazzy rock 'n' roll band headed by Jazz-Bo, the saxophone-playing cat. There's not really a story here - it's a bubblegum 50's ditty as picture book - but the font and lyrics swing along with the animals making it a pleasant enough read although it doesn't stand up to repeat readings for adults. The dust jacket blurb pegs it for ages 3-6, but I had it pegged for 1½-4.

Rock 'n' Roll Dogs (2006), David Davis (written), Chuck Galey (illustrated)

Memphis has gone to the dogs. Although there are similarities to Jonathan London's Who Bop?, Rock 'n' Roll Dogs is more sophisticated and less glib. Dig this:

It's close to Graceland, down in Memphis town,
And the dogcatcher lady wants to shut 'em down.
But on Friday nights they dig a hot dog band
That rocks that boogie in the Delta land.
You're all welcome on their front doormat.
Kids can visit - but they don't let cats
Come hear Rock 'n' Roll
Memphis Blues Dogs.

If a tomcat tries to crash the show,
The dogs start barking, "Go, cat, Go!"

The rhymed couplets are catchy without being overdone. Eliza grooves whenever I read it.

I see from the dust jacket that the writer and illustrator also teamed up for Jazz Cats, which I intend to search out. We are cat people, after all. (Ages 3-6)

Punk Farm (2005), Jarrett J. Krosoczka

Punk Farm answers the age-old question of what farm animals do when the farmer's away. No, Snowball and Napoleon don't stage a revolution in this story - the pig in Punk Farm has better things to do: amping up his electric guitar and wailing out a punk rock rendition of "Old MacDonald Had a Farm" along with sheep on vocals, chicken on keyboard, goat on bass, and cow on drums.

Eliza thought it was good fun. This isn't the sort of book you can read in a meek voice, and my throat was a little sore after each reading (I'm so not punk). The writing isn't particularly inspired - it's the reader's "performance" and illustrations that carry this one. (Ages 1½-4)

The Song of Six Birds (1999), Rene Deetlefs (written), Lyn Gilbert (illustrated)

This is my favorite from the animals making music theme, although unlike the other books, there are no anthropomorphic animals playing instruments. The South African authors have set the story in a tiny, close-knit village where young Lindiwe wakes up one morning to find by her side an African flute, a gift from her mother. Lindiwe is grateful for the gift, but the first notes she plays frighten her baby brother. She is disappointed but is determined to find beautiful sounds to fill her flute.

As Lindiwe moves through the day, she comes upon birds and sweetly asks them to share their musical calls with her flute, always expressing her thanks. My favorite part was when the medicine man helped to heal Lindiwe after a hornet stung her and she was afraid the flute might absorb her sobs:

The wise old man smiled, laying a
cool herb leaf on her throbbing arm.
"But a flute should sometimes sob,"
he said. "Ask that hoopoe."

The book closes with the village, young and old, bird and human, dancing late into the night to Lindiwe's flute. (Side note: Lindiwe's mother is shown wearing her baby boy on her back - it's a nice surprise to see babywearing in a picture book!)

......

Update: I just posted a mini review of Punk Farm. And I forgot to include the link to my "animals making music" tag on LibraryThing; we didn't read them this week, but a few books we own would fit the theme: Opera Cat, Berlioz the Bear, Animal Orchestra, and Mole Music.

100 more children's books

2007-08-11T21:27:00.000-07:00

Nina of Painted Rainbows and Chamomile Tea found out that the previous list was not the current NEA list, so she posted the official list, which is more modern. Once again, those I've read are in bold:

Charlotte’s Web by E.B. White
Where the Wild Things Are by Maurice Sendak
The Giving Tree by Shel Silverstein
Green Eggs and Ham by Dr. Seuss
Good Night Moon by Margaret Wise Brown
I Love You Forever by Robert N. Munsch
Because of Winn Dixie by Kate DiCamillo
Oh! The Places You Will Go by Dr. Seuss
The Little House by Virginia Lee Burton
The Polar Express by Chris Van Allsburg
Skippyjon Jones by Judy Schachner
Thank You Mr. Falker by Patricia Polacco
The Cat In The Hat by Dr. Seuss
The Lorax by Dr. Seuss
The Miraculous Journey of Edward Tulane by Kate DiCamillo
The Mitten by Jan Brett
Crunching Carrots, Not Candy by Judy Slack
Don't Let the Pigeon Drive the Bus by Mo Willlems
Harry Potter Series by J.K. Rowling
A Wrinkle in Time by Madeleine L'Engle
Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good Very Bad Day by Judith Viorst
Are You My Mother? by P.D. Eastman
Corduroy by Don Freeman
Lilly's Purple Plastic Purse by Kevin Henkes
Stellaluna by Janell Cannon
Tacky the Penquin by Helen Lester
The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe by C.S. Lewis
The Velveteen Rabbit by Margery Williams
Chicka Chicka Boom Boom by Bill Martin Jr.
Click Clack Moo: Cows That Type by Doreen Cronin
Harold and the Purple Crayon by Crockett Johnson
Horton Hatches the Egg by Dr. Seuss
Junie B. Jones by Barbara Park
Little House in the Big Woods by Laura Ingalls Wilder
Make Way For Ducklings by Robert McCloskey
The Phantom Tollbooth by Norton Juster
Piggie Pie by Margie Palatini
The Little Engine That Could by Watty Piper
The Monster at the End of this Book by Jon Stone
The Tale of Despereaux by Kate DiCamillo
A Bad Case of Stripes by David Shannon
Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs by Judi Barrett
From the Mixed Up Files of Mrs. Basil E. Frankweiler by E.L. Konigsburg
Inkheart by Cornelia Funke
Maniac Magee by Jerry Spinelli
Officer Buckle and Gloria by Peggy Rathmann
Olivia by Ian Falconer
The BFG by Roald Dahl
The Kissing Hand by Audrey Penn
The Secret Garden by Frances Hodgson Burnett
The Sneetches by Dr. Seuss
The Very Hungry Caterpillar by Eric Carle
Tikki Tikki Tembo by Arlene Mosel
A Little Princess by Frances Hodgson Burnett
Bark, George by Jules Feiffer
Bunnicula by James Howe
The Cat in the Hat by Dr. Seuss
Charlie and the Chocolate Factory by Roald Dahl
Charlie the Caterpillar by Dom DeLuise
Chrysanthemum by Kevin Henkes
Dear Mr. Henshaw by Beverly Cleary
Frederick by Leo Lionni
Frindle by Andrew Clements
Frog and Toad by Arnold Lobel
Guess How Much I Love You by Sam McBratney
Harris and Me by Gary Paulsen
Harry the Dirty Dog by Gene Zion
Hop on Pop by Dr. Seuss
How the Grinch Stole Christmas by Dr. Seuss
I Love You, Stinky Face by Lisa McCourt
Is Your Mama A Llama? by Deborah Guarino
Jan Brett's books
Knots on a Counting Rope by Bill Martin Jr.
Little Women by Louisa May Alcott
Mike Mulligan and His Steam Shovel by Virginia Lee Burton
Miss Rumphius by Barbara Cooney
My Father's Dragon by Ruth Stiles Gannett
My Many Colored Days by Dr. Seuss
My Side of the Mountain by Jean Craighead George
No David! by David Shannon
One Fish, Two Fish, Red Fish, Blue Fish by Dr. Seuss
Where the Sidewalk Ends by Shel Silverstein
Stephanie's Ponytail by Robert Munsch
Swimmy by Leo Lionni
The Hundred Dresses by Eleanor Estes
The Boxcar Children by Gertrude Warner
The Dark Is Rising by Susan Cooper
The Empty Pot by Demi
The Five Chinese Brothers by Claire Huchet Bishop
The Giver by Lois Lowry
The Grouchy Ladybug by Eric Carle
The Hobbit by J.R.R. Tolkien
The Important Book by Margaret Wise Brown
The Last Holiday Concert by Andrew Clements
The Napping House by Audrey Wood
The Quiltmaker's Gift by Jeff Brumbeau
The Snowy Day by Ezra Jack Keats
The Story About Ping by Marjorie Flack
The True Story of the Three Little Pigs by Jon Scieszka
Tuck Everlasting by Natalie Babbitt

Although I didn't count, it seems I've read even fewer of these. This list's groan-inducing title for me (besides Love You Forever) is No, David! I just don't understand what anyone sees in it - the illustrations give me the creeps. I had commented on Nina's original post that E. L. Konigsburg needed to be up there, and I was specifically thinking of From the Mixed-Up Files... and The View from Saturday.

Lest anyone think me a curmudgeon, other favorites from the above list are Charlotte's Web, Where the Wild Things Are, The Lorax, The Sneetches *, Harry Potter series, Little Women, and anything by Jan Brett. (Hey, where's Patricia Polacco?) I think Eliza's favorite from that list is Olivia, but she has pulled down Chicka Chicka Boom Boom quite a few times this month.

* I once heard that what gave Dr. Seuss the impetus to write The Sneetches was the snobbery of the La Jolla Country Club. I'd like to know if that's really true.

100 children's books

2007-08-10T15:07:00.000-07:00

I had intended to blog today about our latest library book theme - animals playing music - but I got sucked into spending Eliza's nap on LibraryThing yet again. I was just about to leave the computer to get something, anything accomplished today when I read Nina's 100 children's books post with her invitation to play along (Nina, I know you'll love Little Women). Titles I've read are in bold:

Charlotte's Web by E. B. White
The Polar Express by Chris Van Allsburg
Green Eggs and Ham by Dr. Seuss
The Cat in the Hat by Dr. Seuss
Where the Wild Things Are by Maurice Sendak
Love You Forever by Robert N. Munsch *
The Giving Tree by Shel Silverstein
The Very Hungry Caterpillar by Eric Carle
Where the Red Fern Grows by Wilson Rawls
The Mitten by Jan Brett
Goodnight Moon by Margaret Wise Brown
Hatchet by Gary Paulsen
The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe by C. S. Lewis
Where the Sidewalk Ends by Shel Silverstein
Bridge to Terabithia by Katherine Paterson
Stellaluna by Janell Cannon
Oh, The Places You'll Go by Dr. Seuss
Strega Nona by Tomie De Paola
Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day by Judith Viorst
Brown Bear, Brown Bear, What do you see? by Bill Martin, Jr.
Charlie and the Chocolate Factory by Roald Dahl
The Velveteen Rabbit by Margery Williams
A Wrinkle in Time by Madeleine L'Engle
Shiloh by Phyllis Reynolds Naylor
How the Grinch Stole Christmas by Dr. Seuss
The True Story of the Three Little Pigs by Jon Scieszka
Chicka Chicka Boom Boom by John Archambault
Little House on the Prairie by Laura Ingalls Wilder
The Secret Garden by Frances Hodgson Burnett
The Complete Tales of Winnie the Pooh by A. A. Milne
The Boxcar Children by Gertrude Chandler Warner
Sarah, Plain and Tall by Patricia MacLachlan
Indian in the Cupboard by Lynne Reid Banks
Island of the Blue Dolphins by Scott O'Dell
Maniac Magee by Jerry Spinelli
The BFG by Roald Dahl
The Giver by Lois Lowry
If You Give a Mouse a Cookie by Laura Joffe Numeroff
James and the Giant Peach by Roald Dahl
Little House in the Big Woods by Laura Ingalls Wilder
Roll of Thunder, Hear My Cry by Mildred D. Taylor
The Hobbit by J. R. R. Tolkien
The Lorax by Dr. Seuss
Stone Fox by John Reynolds Gardiner
Number the Stars by Lois Lowry
Mrs. Frisby and the Rats of Nimh by Robert C. O'Brien
Little Women by Louisa May Alcott
The Rainbow Fish by Marcus Pfister
Amazing Grace by Mary Hoffman
The Best Christmas Pageant Ever by Barbara Robinson
Corduroy by Don Freeman
Jumanji by Chris Van Allsburg
Math Curse by Jon Scieszka
Summer of the Monkeys by Wilson Rawls
Tales of a Fourth Grade Nothing by Judy Blume
Ramona Quimby, Age 8 by Beverly Cleary
The Trumpet of the Swan by E. B. White
Are You My Mother? by Philip D. Eastman
The Chronicles of Narnia by C. S. Lewis
Make Way for Ducklings by Robert McCloskey
One Fish Two Fish Red Fish Blue Fish by Dr. Seuss
The Phantom Tollbooth by Norton Juster
The Snowy Day by Ezra Jack Keats
The Napping House by Audrey Wood
Sylvester and the Magic Pebble by William Steig
The Tale of Peter Rabbit by Beatrix Potter
Tuck Everlasting by Natalie Babbitt
The Wizard of Oz by L. Frank Baum
Anne of Green Gables by Lucy Maud Montgomery
Horton Hatches the Egg by Dr. Seuss
Basil of Baker Street by Eve Titus
The Little Engine That Could by Watty Piper
The Cay by Theodore Taylor
Curious George by Hans Augusto Rey
Wilfred Gordon McDonald Partridge by Mem Fox
Arthur series by Marc Tolon Brown
The Great Gilly Hopkins by Katherine Paterson
Lily's Purple Plastic Purse by Kevin Henkes
Little House books by Laura Ingalls Wilder
The Little House by Virginia Lee Burton
The Runaway Bunny by Margaret Wise Brown
Sideways Stories from Wayside School by Louis Sachar
Amelia Bedelia by Peggy Parish
Harriet the Spy by Louise Fitzhugh
A Light in the Attic by Shel Silverstein
Mr. Popper's Penguins by Richard Atwater
My Father's Dragon by Ruth Stiles Gannett
Stuart Little by E. B. White
Walk Two Moons by Sharon Creech
The Witch of Blackbird Pond by Elizabeth George Speare
The Art Lesson by Tomie De Paola
Caps for Sale by Esphyr Slobodkina
Clifford, the Big Red Dog by Norman Bridwell
Heidi by Johanna Spyri
Horton Hears a Who by Dr. Seuss
The Sign of the Beaver by Elizabeth George Speare
The Watsons Go to Birmingham-1963 by Christopher Paul Curtis
Guess How Much I Love You by Sam McBratney
The Paper Bag Princess by Robert N. Munsch
Matilda by Roald Dahl

* I've read it in French (Je t'aimerai toujours) but not in English. I assume it's shmaltz of the worst kind in any language.

A few of the ones I didn't bold I'm fairly sure I read once upon a time, but since it has been 20-odd years, I didn't bold them. A number of the older children's titles I read just last year when I was on a YA kick (Bridge to Terabithia, A Wrinkle in Time, Little House in the Big Woods, Harriet the Spy, Anne of Green Gables, Sarah Plain and Tall, The Giver, Tuck Everlasting, etc.). I wonder if the librarians thought me odd for checking out older children's books with a toddler in tow.

story time with Miss Elaine

2007-07-18T17:16:00.000-07:00

Elaine (of wannabe hippie) mentioned she was hosting story time for the first time today at Java Mama Cafe. I'd never been, but I thought it worth a trip to check out.

Unfortunately, we had a hard time finding it and arrived late, missing most of story time. Eliza was overwhelmed by the new situation and froze up, but the other kids were really into it. I wish I could summon up as much enthusiasm as Elaine having read The Napping House a zillion times.

Afterward, Eliza had fun playing in the supervised play area for awhile until she announced she was hungry. Outside food is not allowed, and the only thing on the menu we could eat was a PBJ (I'm reluctant to pay for something I can slap together in 5 seconds at home).

Eliza happily agreed to go to a restaurant, so we stopped off at Sipz Fusion Cafe on the way home where we shared orange "chicken" and pad Thai. I ordered a Thai iced tea because I was a bit disappointed that I couldn't drink this peach-jasmine drink I'd ordered at Java Mama because I thought it was an iced tea, and it turned out to be a milk shake. (I told the guy at the counter to give it away since I didn't want it to go to waste.) He offered to remake it with water but said he didn't know if the peach mix had dairy. I thought to myself, "you could look on the label, or show it to me," but I'm not a complainer and don't like to trouble people, so I reassured him it was alright - after all, the fault was mine for assuming.

Eliza was well-behaved at lunch and eagerly devoured the pad Thai. Good restaurant behavior is one of Eliza's few easy traits (although it wasn't always that way). I dare say, she behaves a good deal better in restaurants than she does at home, being a diva of a food critic, flinging what she doesn't like - a habit that infuriates her father more than any other.

Afterward, I asked Eliza if she'd like to go pick up our fruit order or if she'd like to go home, knowing what her answer would be, but I asked because I figured we'd be out of there in under an hour and only live a couple miles away. However, I didn't count on getting horribly lost in my own neighborhood. And here I was just talking with Jenny (of wildwood cottage) yesterday about my geeky love of geography - shame on me. After driving around for a half hour, hoping I'd happen upon the street, I told Eliza I was sorry but that we had to go home because I was lost. "No, no, no, no, no!!! I need to pick up the fwuit!!!" she yelled and started bawling. It figures that the one page our local Thomas Guide is missing is the one I needed. Then I had another thought. I pulled over to check whether my cell phone had a mapping program on its web function. I had to agree to be charged $4, which may have been worth it to avoid a meltdown.

I didn't have any luck getting Eliza out of Lorien's (of wilson silverleaf) after an hour, then two hours. I became more anxious as the afternoon wore on, knowing we were all in for a heap of trouble and tantrums if Eliza didn't get her nap. Fortunately, she did go down for a nap just after 4, which is highly unusual, so I thank my lucky stars.

Someone just woke up and is playing the obnoxious demo track on the piano keyboard next to me. I hope she'll want to go downstairs so we can listen to decent music instead. :)

(My apologies for the photo quality - that's the best I can do with a half-broken camera and dim lighting.)

chalk hearts

2007-07-17T17:09:00.000-07:00

"Look, Mommy, I drawed hearts!" It was her idea to draw a heart (I never direct her art), and she said they were for me. It was the sweetest thing and I thanked her. As far as I know, that was the first time she tried to draw a heart. I noted aloud the curves on the top and points on the bottom but made no judgment. She looked very proud of herself.

She must have had hearts on the brain after playing a sorting game a bit earlier. I found a package of wooden shapes at the arts-and-crafts store and thought she might enjoy those. So I turned it into a Montessori-inspired activity and placed a heart in one bowl. Eliza went about picking out all the other hearts and placing them in the bowl, but once that was done, she thought it would be even more fun to dump all the shapes into the bowls and pour them back and forth. Hey, whatever works! :)

She's going to kill me . . .

2007-07-17T15:56:00.000-07:00

. . . if she doesn't kill herself first. I'm not a paranoid person, but I find myself wondering on days like this if she'll make it to adulthood.

We were upstairs cleaning the bathroom when Eliza wandered away from me as she often does. Three minutes passed, and I went to make sure she wasn't making a mess. I went through the house calmly, room by room, calling her name, and she didn't answer. My heart started to beat faster. Something was wrong - I knew it - she always answers no matter what she's doing. I ran through the house yelling her name. I nearly vomited.

The locks on the patio and garage hadn't been undone, so I could only guess that she had gone out the front doors although they were closed. I ran out the door to the right and saw a mother and her preteen sons playing in the driveway. They hadn't seen her but promised to split up looking. I ran back to the house thinking maybe she was lying unconscious somewhere, but she was nowhere.

Back outside again, by that time I was on the phone with Chris, crying and nearly hyperventilating. He was trying to keep me from completely losing it, but I was imagining the worst - being the mother of a dead child. I went all the way down the road to the left, looking behind every bush and car.

As I was rounding the bend, I saw the neighbor with Eliza and fell to my knees crying harder from relief. The neighbor found her at the side gate in the process of turning the handle to go out onto the main road. Eliza didn't look worried in the slightest, and in fact, seemed baffled why her crazy mother was crying in the middle of the road. In her arms were a stuffed cat and snowman, and around her neck were the fabric balloon wall decorations that had once hung in her room (before she ripped them off the wall last week).

Once Eliza was at home safely tucked in bed, I e-mailed a friend: "I hate what she does to me. Why?? This is the dark side of having a too-smart and too-adventurous child. I hate wondering whether she’s going to make it to adulthood."

OK, I know she doesn't do these things to give me a heart attack. She just thought it sounded fun to go exploring outside the house.

In order to get out the front door, she had to unlock the deadbolt on the main door and unlock two locks on the metal mesh security door that turn in opposite directions. I found the doors unlocked but closed. What a thoughtful child she is to carefully close doors behind her, something the cat resents, having been locked inside rooms so often (damn those paws without opposable thumbs!).

I thought about installing a fourth lock on the front doors, one at the very top - six feet off the ground. But then I tried to look at it through Eliza's eyes and saw the distance from the top of the love seat to the top of the door is right around her height. That might buy me twenty seconds, I thought. I spoke with a friend on the phone who suggested an alarm on the front door, something her mother had done many years ago. I feel a little better hearing stories about her older sister, who was just as adventurous as Eliza; they make me think maybe I'm not as horrible of a mother as I feel on days like today.

Three minutes. That's all it took. The time I spent searching through the house for her calling her name was time she used to get farther away. I hate to think what could have happened to her if she had gotten out to the main street.

training for the Olympics?

2007-07-16T14:54:00.000-07:00

Our house now has two fewer towel bars than it did a few days ago. Yesterday, Chris found the towel bar and towels on the floor of the hallway bathroom, but no one saw Eliza do it. Then this morning, I was in the master bathroom when right in front of my eyes, Eliza grabbed the towel bar and started swinging: Wheeeeeee!

"Please let go! It's not . . ."

*crunch*

". . . a toy."

Eliza fell down on her tush, bar still in hand. "Uh-oh. I fall down!" Indeed.

blue funk

2007-07-16T08:04:00.000-07:00

"Just say OK. All they want to hear is OK."

"But what if I'm not OK?"

"It doesn't matter. Just say OK."

My husband and I had this conversation a number of times over the years. I used to answer "how are you doing?" as if it were meant literally and not as a small-talk convention. No one wants to hear that your back hurts or that you have three research papers due the same day, he would say. It came naturally to him with his buttoned-up upbringing, but it felt culturally alien to me. After enough years of startled looks that said "that's not how it works - you say you're OK, I say I'm OK" I finally gave in.

Although I still have to fight the urge to say what I'm really thinking, I've grown used to the convention. The hard part is when I'm scared or desperately sad. When I'm hurting, I withdraw. If not for Eliza begging to go somewhere every day, I wouldn't have left the house these last few weeks. I'm grateful in a way - her insistence on getting out sometimes keeps me from dwelling on my sadness for a short time. I laugh. I smile. Then alone with my thoughts once more, I ache.

Twice in the last few weeks I broke character with the same person. I'm not entirely sure why - maybe there's something about her that made me less scared about feeling vulnerable. In any case, I didn't say OK for once, which brought a moment of relief followed by regret - I wished I could take it back. Was there anything she could do, she wanted to know, and I sensed she meant it. There's nothing anyone can do, I thought to myself. But what she said next, each time, stayed with me. What I had offered was just the tip of the iceberg of my despair, but that tip started to melt. I debated about whether to tell her that her gesture meant a lot to me. I lack the courage and articulateness to tell her in person, so I thought about sending a short e-mail, but again I hesitated for fear of sounding shmaltzy. Early this morning, I read something she wrote that spoke to me, and it has been rattling around in my head in the hours since. I never intended to post about my blue funk, preferring to stick to emotionally safe topics like Eliza's mischief, but after reading that, I knew I had to write this. If she happens to be reading this, just know I am grateful.

We now return you to your regularly scheduled food, books, and mischief posts.

rise and shine

2007-07-08T10:59:00.000-07:00

I woke up this morning to the sound of the upstairs gate slamming shut. It took a couple minutes to become fully awake, but my first thought was annoyance that Chris (the last one up last night) had forgotten to lock the gate behind him, and who knows how long Eliza was downstairs alone. A little later I heard, "the hands are yucky!" and went to help her clean off whatever she got into, which was clear and somewhat viscous. C soon was up and cursing, wanting to know if I'd seen the mess. I hadn't - I supposed she'd gotten into lotion or such and that I'd find the bottle soon enough. In the washer and dryer nook (located on the upstairs landing) was a slick of our eco-friendly laundry detergent on the floor, more on the clean clothes in the dryer, and one of her stuffed cats was covered as well.

It took the two of us together at least 20 minutes to get it all cleaned up. The hallway bathroom sink was filled with suds that would take a bit to go down, but wouldn't you know it, Eliza couldn't keep her hands out of that and had the chutzpa to complain that her hands were yucky again.

Hours later, I finally have a few minutes to myself while C is watching E downstairs. What a start to a Sunday morning.

scene of the crime

2007-07-03T16:18:00.001-07:00

She strikes again . . . twice in one day. These were just the two major messes (there were several minor ones including the pile of cat barf - it appears both my "kids" are conspiring against me). Any time I set about cleaning up one mess, she'd run off and make another while I was busy.

The first photo shows my carpet blanketed in calendula flowers (used for baths, balms, and such). Also scattered about are empty bottles for essential oil mixes (the full ones are hidden up high in my closet - shh, don't tell her).

A little later, she made a mess in the kitchen while I was tending to another mess. She emptied out a bottle of rosewater and bag of salt; the resulting paste was thrown in Nikita's bowl, apparently. All these items were 4 shelves off the ground. I can't win.

I am determined to install Tot Locks this week (they're supposed to be more fiddle-proof than standard child locks) for my sanity if nothing else. I really should be doing it right now, but I'm so exhausted from this morning that I need an internet break while Eliza naps.

tiny dancer

2007-06-29T14:58:00.000-07:00

Late again. I was so focused on the grocery trip that I forgot we had music class until it was half over. Although the studio is just a few blocks away, we only managed to catch the last three songs of class.

Miss Carol has called Eliza her "little dancer" every week for over a year. Dancing has always been Eliza's favorite part of class, even when she was an in-arms baby. No matter how otherwise sad, angry, or indifferent, she always snaps out of it (temporarily) to dance. She doesn't just throw her body into it, she feels it in her soul.

Today, Eliza was having a partially indifferent day. She had no interest in playing the drum before her, but she happily crawled into my lap for a cuddle-and-snuggle song that precedes the goodbye song. When everyone stood up to leave, Eliza leapt to her feet. "That was easy," I thought, having feared she wouldn't want to leave after just a few songs. But she didn't follow me to the door. She stood there with her arms out, saying something I couldn't hear above the din. I went to her and asked her to repeat what she said. "Mommy, please dance with me?" I held her hands and started to dance without music. She stopped me: "No, no. Wait for the music." I was surprised because she has heard the same goodbye song every week for 2 years, and she knows what it means, but we'd never been this late before.

I suggested we stop off at home to dance before going to the store, but she quietly and sadly turned me down. Miss Carol had even kindly offered to let us stay for the next class as we were leaving, but when I asked Eliza what she wanted to do, she just said to go to the car. Was she sure? "Yes," she sighed, still sounding sad. Once in the car, I reiterated my suggestion to dance at home, but she again said no.

I let her down - all because I was too scatter-brained to remember which day it is. Perhaps she'll feel like her usual self once she wakes up from her nap.

June in the kitchen (part 2)

2007-06-29T12:41:00.000-07:00

"They gave us weeds?!" moaned C when he saw that week's CSA loot. I ended up making a Greek-style dandelion salad with tomatoes, raw botija olives, and marinated artichokes. C liked it so much he didn't complain about the bitterness (unlike with the radicchio chopped salad we had later that week - me, I'm a nontaster . . . bitter-shmitter).

The beet and berry salad (inspired by The Berry Bible) was a great way to make use of our CSA beets, strawberries, and red leaf lettuce. It was lightly dressed with olive oil and lemon juice.

For one of our Sunday breakfasts, we had "power porridge with coconut-pecan marmalade" from The Candle Cafe Cookbook. Dare I say it . . . the marmalade was actually too sweet for me, but Eliza pleaded for porridge leftovers until they were gone.

Dreena Burton had an unusual and intriguing pizza recipe in Vive le Vegan! that I had to try. The "crust" is a whole spelt tortilla, and the toppings are beam-yam hummus, zucchini, olives, and fresh herbs. Eliza was disappointed the crust wasn't soft, but she was willing it eat the whole mess with a fork once we crumbled it for her.

One morning, Eliza and I shared scrambled tofu with zucchini that I winged (I've seen so many versions). To the tofu and zucchini I added a little tamari, curry powder, allspice, and probably something else I'm forgetting.

For next week's recipes, I'm trying out recipes from a new cookbook and an "old" favorite.

Foods That Don't Bite Back
tarragon lentil-nut loaf
Moroccan-style tempeh w/ apricots, dates, & olives
sundried tomato & basil pesto pizza
chilled cucumber soup
carrot-tahini sandwich filling
grilled summer vegetable salad

Vegan with a Vengeance
mango-ginger tofu
chickpea-hijiki salad sandwiches
sunny blueberry-corn muffins

Some are dinner recipes, but the carrot-tahini and chickpea-hijiki sandwiches are for packed lunches. When I was in college, I packed a PBJ almost every weekday for years and years. It's not that I'm such a fan of peanut butter but that I was completely clueless about what else I could make that wouldn't be extremely perishable (of course, that was a time in my life when I could barely boil water). I have a tendency to fall back on PBJs and ABJs (we alternate peanut and almond butter) with Eliza because they're easy to slap together, and they come with an iron-clad guarantee they won't be rejected. She also really likes tofu salad sandwiches, but I have to have a batch of tofu salad sitting in the fridge because Eliza's patience maxes out at the time it takes to toast bread. So I'm curious how this week's new sandwich recipes will be received. Isa Chandra Moskowitz (author of VWaV) says the chickpea-hijiki sandwiches satisfy her occasional tuna cravings. I haven't had tuna in 20 years and don't miss it a bit, but I've been known to sneak seaweed into soups and stews, so the recipe looked good to me.

I think I've tried almost every non-dessert in the book; believe me, I'd love to eat the desserts in theory, but I have to limit desserts to a couple times a month, so it takes a long time to go through them. I'm thinking for July's desserts we'll have the blueberry-lemon cupcakes from Vegan Cupcakes Take Over the World while berries are still in season and probably something from VWaV - the carrot cake photo has been speaking to me, but I just had carrot cake at Sipz Fusion Cafe in May.

Lavender Fields

2007-06-28T17:19:00.000-07:00

C: Let me get this straight . . . we're driving two hours round-trip to see what . . . ?
me: Flowers.
C: Exactly my point.

By the time we hit the winding dirt roads that did a number on our little car's suspension, Chris was already wishing I'd never had the idea to go to Lavender Fields for its annual festival. It wasn't much of a festival, to be honest, but it sure was a beautiful farm.

I'd heard to expect bees in the spring, but I was surprised there were still so many being nearly July. There were thousands of bees buzzing everywhere. It's a good thing I'm only squeamish about creepy-crawlies, not flying insects. Eliza didn't bat an eyelash.

Eliza wasn't interested in the cooking demonstration, but she did take a shine to the little fountain. She insisted on plugging the water duct with her finger, which didn't stop her from complaining about getting wet. Still, she was having fun, so we just sat back and let her hang around the fountain for a half hour.

Soon Eliza's attention turned to the llamas over the fence from a neighboring ranch. She kept calling over to the llamas, but when they wouldn't come over, she decided that she needed to hop the fence to join them. (Her father pulled her down after I snapped a photo of her mischief.)

Eventually, she started to run out of patience, so after grabbing a couple things from the gift shop, we headed back home. I don't think I'll go back again while Eliza is so young, as it was a long way to go for something she didn't much appreciate, but I was happy to visit.

my birthday, 2007

2007-06-27T15:06:00.001-07:00

(Click on the photos for the full set.)

Chris took the day off work, and the three of us spent the morning at the ocean (La Jolla Shores) with friends. Eliza surprised us by frolicking in the waves - last time, she was horrified when water touched her toes. At first, both Eliza and Micah were a little reluctant, but as Reiko suggested, they gave each other courage and soon were splashing around gleefully. Laurel soon joined them, and our gaggle of 2-year-olds were having a glorious time in the waves with the daddies supervising.

Afterward, all nine of us headed out to Café Athena (in Pacific Beach). I had the imam bayaldi, which is eggplant stuffed with tomatoes, raisins, and walnuts, served with a pilaf. Eliza had lentil soup and grazed off my eggplant and the various mezes we all shared.

We had a whole room of the restaurant to ourselves since we arrived at an off time, which was nice, because the kids really get excited around each other and were more wiggly than usual. At one point, Eliza and Laurel hopped across the floor chanting "ribbit, ribbit!"

After lunch, we headed home so Eliza could take a nap. We three spent a quiet afternoon, not doing much other than making cupcakes. I made "sexy low-fat vanilla cupcakes w/ fresh berries" (from Vegan Cupcakes Take Over the World). Loren joked about eating my cupcakes, so he has my word I'll make a batch for the next Bradley reunion. :)

After Eliza went to bed for the night, Chris and I watched a classic movie, It Happened One Night, breaking with my tradition of watching Jane Austen adaptations on my birthday. Although not quite up there with Colin Firth's dreamy wet shirt scene from Pride & Prejudice, Clark Gable isn't too shabby to say the least. Claudette Colbert didn't even annoy me as much as she did when I last saw the movie, about seven years ago.

I also got a couple phone calls wishing me a happy birthday - how nice to be remembered. All in all, I had a very enjoyable birthday. I can't ask for more than good times with my darling daughter and husband and my dear friends.

misadventures in baking

2007-06-25T16:50:00.000-07:00

pretzels for peace

Alton Brown made me do it.

After seeing the pretzel episode last weekend, I just had to try my hand at them. Baking soda is the magic ingredient that makes pretzels brown nicely, which was news to me. At first, Alton toyed with the notion of using lye for the basic solution, but his fictional lawyers made him use baking soda instead - damn! By the way, the peace signs were Alton's alternate suggestion.

I converted to vegan and whole grain a recipe I found in Home Baking. The first pretzel was a disaster. I thought I'd save time by forming the second pretzel while the first was simmering in the baking soda solution for a half minute, but I forgot to remove the first pretzel until several minutes had elapsed. Not only that, but I blew off keeping the pretzel on the spatula, figuring I could fish it out - big mistake - it came out soggy and in pieces. I baked the pieces with the other three pretzels on a lark, and it reminded me of that nasty baking soda toothbrushing they made us do in the first grade. I'm happy to say that the other three came out alright for a first try (Eliza and I ate one with dijon-agave dipping sauce).

In addition, I also baked the worst batch of muffins I've made in my life. I couldn't figure out why they were so dense (Dreena Burton's recipes have been on the whole quite reliable), until I mentally traced my steps and couldn't remember having put in the baking soda and baking powder. Mea culpa. Eliza was a real sport about eating them anyway. I think the only thing that could make my little carb-ivore refuse a muffin would be to simmer it in baking soda-water for five minutes!

final spring lunches

2007-06-22T16:59:00.000-07:00

1. blackberries, sapote, & cherimoya
2. carrots (CSA)
3. "blueberry yogurt" (Feeding Kids Right)
4. sandwich: raw almond butter & lavender jelly on ezekiel bread

All the fruits, carrots, and even the lavender jelly were local organics.

The blueberry yogurt was very simple: blueberries, ground flax seed, plain soy milk, and dates in a blender. Although it was tasty and Eliza devoured it (I got just one bite), I think I'll save this one for home from now on.

The lavender jelly was part of my Mother's Day present. There's a lavender farm in North County, and I'm tempted to go to its lavender festival this Sunday.

Pictured right is a somewhat Mediterranean-themed lunch:

1. avocado, tomatoes, cucumbers, lemon juice
2. carrots (CSA) & crackers (from a box, has brown rice, quinoa, flax, and sesame seeds)
3. hummus
4. pumpkin muffins (based on Vegan with a Vengeance)

I loves Isa's muffins, but I always tinker with the recipes since I double the spices and avoid white flour and sugar. I replace the former with whole wheat pastry flour and the latter with maple syrup (usually I replace with agave nectar, but maple syrup complements pumpkin so well). I'd post my updated version of the recipe, but I haven't quite gotten the ratios right (next time, even more flour to make up for using a liquid sweetener), so the muffins are a little flat - although delicious!

The hummus I don't make with a recipe, which is just as well because I've never found a hummus recipe that has enough lemon juice and garlic for me. I just throw in the usual ingredients and keep adjusting until it tastes right.

Usually, we only pack a couple lunches a week, but we got together with friends today. I didn't take a photo of the lunch box because it looked a lot like yesterday's because I had leftover hummus. I also packed a bowl of cut fresh fruit: strawberries (CSA), sapotes, red grapes, and nectarines.

We rarely finish everything, but that works out well and translates into an effortless nosh later in the day.

locked in the car

2007-06-22T15:44:00.001-07:00

платок

Ah, a babushka in training! Eliza has decided that is her new look and frequently asks us to tie on her play scarf. The photo has nothing to do with my post - it just cheers me up to see her happy.

I was told to look on the bright side: today couldn't be worse than yesterday. As far as Eliza's behavior goes, it hasn't been. Her only mischief was turning on the gas outside twice, which I smelled immediately.

After spending the late morning with my friends and Eliza's friends, Micah and Laurel (the three amigos go way back, their parents having met one hot summer in birth class 3 years ago), Eliza started getting cranky around noon, so we headed back to the car. Eliza was buckled in, and just as I was reaching to open the driver's door, I heard bleep-bleep. The car had locked itself with my keys and sweet girl inside!

I was terrified as I called AAA (my cell phone was in my pocket), but I no longer panicked once I was told it had been marked top priority and someone would be there in under 10 minutes. It took five. The temperature was in the 70s, but the car had been parked outside for a couple hours and was considerably warmer. I'd had the foresight to open the moon roof so that the car wouldn't be blazing hot when we got back to it, and thank goodness for that.

I did my best poker face to keep Eliza from freaking out, and at first she was grinning and laughing at me through the window, but eventually, she figured out something was wrong and began to cry. I can't even say how sad and helpless I felt to watch my daughter's face beaded with sweat and tears. It was just another minute until help arrived, but it felt like much longer.

I would never deliberately leave my child in a car for a single minute, so those eight minutes were a nightmare to me. I'm going to have a spare key made and stick it to the underside of the car - having it stolen is a far better fate than being locked out.

Ironically, I was asked today if there were any safety devices she hadn't managed to beat. There is but one, but it's not the car seat (the upstairs gate, being bolted into a stud in the wall, has so far proved impervious). About a year ago, Eliza figured out how to undo the chest buckle of her top-of-the-line car seat, and from there could wiggle out. One evening, as we made the hour-long drive down the freeway back home from a friend's house, Eliza escaped her car seat at least a half dozen times. Each time, C pulled over ASAP, and we buckled her in again, making sure she was as snug as possible. Minutes later, she escaped again . . . and again . . . and again. We struggled with her car seat escapes for a week or two until we decided we had no choice but to turn her around and hope it would eliminate her desire to escape. I had done my homework, knew the statistics, and was planning to keep her rear-facing until she reached our car seat's rear-facing limit (32 pounds), which in her case, wouldn't have been until after her 2nd birthday. I never would have turned her around for convenience's sake (hers or mine), but her constant escapes were much more dangerous.

She hasn't tried to get out since, and no doubt can no longer remember that she was able to do so. Today, I encouraged her to pull the lock up, but it was a few inches out of her reach.

At the moment, Eliza is soundly napping with her animals, and I'm relatively calm, but it's hard to overstate how scared I was for a few minutes this afternoon. Eliza and Chris are my whole world.

she strikes again, part 2

2007-06-22T15:13:00.000-07:00

The following is a cut-and-paste from an e-mail:

The cut lip was just the beginning, as it turns out. There was dried St. John’s Wort spilled all over the bathtub and bath mat. Then Chris came home early (5:30) and complained, “don’t you watch her?” Minutes after he accused me, Eliza ripped down the shade in the bathroom, ripping the window screen right in front of his face!! As frustrating as that was, a small part of me was relieved that he could no longer say it’s because I wasn’t watching her closely enough. He was sheepish and apologetic after that. A little later back downstairs, she was having a tantrum and started throwing fruit – including heavy melons – from the fruit bowls. She threw almost continuous tantrums from 6 to 8 until she did nothing but scream and refused to eat a bite of dinner.

I forgot to mention that she entirely refused to nap yesterday, then she threw a tantrum in the middle of the public library, and I had to carry her out while everyone gave us dirty looks. All that and the above all happened in a single day.

* * * * *

I forgot to mention that a roll of toilet paper was unraveled yesterday evening. In light of everything else that happened, it was overlooked.

she strikes again

2007-06-21T14:41:00.000-07:00

Eliza had a wonderful time at playgroup today. To my relief, she didn't eat any of the "beans" (some sort of green berries, which could be poisonous for all I know) she picked off a bush. Once I saw what she had, I didn't take my eyes off her until we left.

Just when I thought she was having a less-mischievous-than-usual day, she pulled a stunt while I was in the bathroom. Can't she be out of sight for two minutes without all hell breaking loose? I found her with her father's razor in one hand and blood above her lip. (Yes, the razor is kept in a drawer with a child lock.) It was only a small amount of blood, which didn't require a bandage and looked like nothing once the blood was wiped off, but it still scared the crap out of me. How many times has she been told not to touch the razors? She stopped trying to grab kitchen knives last month and will now say to herself, "Don't touch - that's sharp - that belongs to Mommy and Daddy."

And before I forget, another bit of today's mischief was emptying dried St. John's Wort all over the carpet.

Some days she scares me.

bumper cars

2007-06-19T17:06:00.000-07:00

%#!*%$@$# birth center parking lot!

This happened to my car just hours ago. There was no available street parking, so I had to park in the birth center's miniature 4-car parking area down a narrow alley. Now I'm quite familiar with this parking lot because Eliza was born at the birth center, and I always hated it with a passion, but it has been more than a year since my last well-woman visit, so I'm out of practice inching the car back and forth, forth and back until after five minutes of frustration, I finally manage to squeeze back out the alley. Only today it went like this:

crank the wheel right
inch back
crank the wheel left
inch forward
...repeat many times...
crank the wheel right yet again
inch back
CRUNCH!

Bam, right into the stone wall. When I got home, I saw my bumper had separated. C is going to kill me. Maybe I'll suggest a fixed bumper in lieu of a birthday present.

fearless

2007-06-19T16:24:00.000-07:00

Elaine's post today was very timely for me. A few hours ago, Eliza swallowed a half vial of tiny crafting beads, which she had nabbed from the craft tower in the garage while I was loading the car. They're so tiny that they weren't a choking hazard, and a friend was amused to point out I should expect a glittering potty tomorrow. (Like when Eliza was a baby and I was able to read words in her diaper - I found out C had let her chew on a magazine page.)

Benign mishaps may be amusing, but I've always found it very troubling to have a kid who has never met a safety device she couldn't beat. She has even foiled multiple layers of security (e.g. getting past the lock on my bedroom door then past the lock on my master bathroom medicine cabinet and finally past the "child-resistant" top on ibuprofen). Ever since then, I stay in my bedroom upstairs until she wakes up from her nap.

I use all-natural homemade cleaners (think baking soda and vinegar), but there are still things in the house that could seriously harm Eliza if she ingested them, including my stash of organic essential oils.

She's just 2 years old, so there's only so much she understands. She has made great progress in the common sense department since she was the daredevil 1-year-old who injured herself so often that she dripped blood (not just scrapes) at least once a week and required a couple emergency room visits. She's still a daredevil, but that wild spirit is now infused with an understanding that some things are not safe. She no longer tries to go head-first off the back of the sofa, but she still doesn't get (or doesn't want to get) that swallowing anything other than food can be dangerous regardless of how many times we tell her.

library theme: fruit

2007-06-18T15:59:00.001-07:00

Eliza wasn't full of ideas herself, but she happily approved of reading picture books featuring fruit. I immediately thought of Jamberry, Eating the Alphabet, and Blueberries for Sal, which we own, but searching the public library catalog for more ideas was mostly fruitless (no pun intended). Thanks go to Nina of Painted Rainbows and Chamomile Tea for several of these suggestions - she thought of books that were at my branch but didn't have a fruit keyword in the catalog. Ironically, I was so scatterbrained last week that I forgot to bring out the three fruit-themed books I mentioned above.

The Owl and the Pussycat, Edward Lear (written), Jan Brett (illustrated)

An English-language classic, The Owl and the Pussycat is a familiar children's nonsense poem (see the poem here), but Jan Brett's illustrations do more than add pictures - they bring a story of their own.

I'm a fan of Brett's charming, minutely-detailed illustrations (something she has in common with Graeme Base, a favorite illustrator of mine), many of which are based on northern European folktales. The scenes are so rich that it takes multiple readings to take it all in. Brett's The Owl and the Pussycat illustrations set the scene among Caribbean islands. Besides illustrating the poem itself, Brett also tells a story along the borders of each page. Along the top edge are straw-woven patterns and tropical flowers, each right corner shows a different sea shell, and along the bottom edge, under the ocean, is a secondary plot of Brett's devising. A yellow tang is seen engaging the help of other sea creatures to find her or his piscine amour, which the pussycat brought aboard the pea-green boat in a fish bowl.

Eliza liked that the tuxedo-patterned pussycat looks strikingly like our Nikita. She even tried to tell Nikita about what she'd seen in the book, but our gentle companion registered a blank stare in her green-gold eyes.

What has all this to do with fruit? The pea-green boat contains a large basket of tropical fruit, including pineapple, bananas, and quince. Some of the fruit I couldn't quite identify, but they looked quite a lot like cherimoya and sapote, which coincidentally, we had in the house, so that's what I told her they were.

It's not too often we have the same favorite picture book of the week, but this week we both enjoyed this one the most. I'm considering trying to find a used copy so I don't have to deny it to other library patrons. Ages 2-5?

Lunch, Denise Fleming

This is a simple picture book about a hungry mouse that goes across the kitchen floor gobbling up fruits and vegetables (how did he know I forgot to sweep?). He sloppily eats his way through a white turnip, orange carrots, yellow corn, etc., adding a new color to his fur with every bite. The fruits in this book are blueberries, grapes, apples, and watermelon. He must have been taking lessons from Eliza, who managed to eat a quarter of a watermelon by herself this week, looking happy and serene as pink juice dribbles down her chin. Ages 1-2.

The Little Mouse, the Red Ripe Strawberry, and the Big Hungry Bear, Don & Audrey Wood (written), Don Wood (illustrated)

This was a timely book as well because of the strawberries in our CSA box lately.

Mouse is beaming, about to pick the perfect red, ripe strawberry, but is there something she hasn't considered? An unidentified off-scene narrator informs mouse that there lurks a big, hungry bear that craves strawberries, which sends the mouse scrambling to hide the strawberry. Without revealing the clever ending, I'll just say that Eliza "got it" and was tickled pink. The story and illustrations were delightful, and I'm sure we'll check out this one again. Ages 2-4?

Mr. Putter and Tabby Pick the Pears, Cynthia Rylant (written), Arthur Howard (illustrated)

I see from the back flap that Rylant is the author of several other Mr. Putter and Tabby . . . books. This book is an easy reader and is divided into a few very short "chapters." Mr. Putter and his tabby cat have a problem. His garden is overflowing with ripe apples and tomatoes, but all he can think about are the pears on his tree, which he tries to knock down using a slingshot loaded with apples. The next day, his neighbor has a surprise for him, and Mr. Putter eventually learns the value of patience.

Fruit, Pascale de Bourgoing (written), P. M. Valet (illustrated), Christina Cramer & Louise Goldsen (translated)

This was the only nonfiction children's book of the bunch. Its translucent overlays remind me of an anatomy section in an encyclopedia my family had - each sheet added another layer (muscles, nervous system) on top of a bare skeleton. The effect is interesting enough, mostly showing the seeds and stones inside, but it's nothing you can't get by slicing open a piece of fruit. The various trees and vines that fruit grows on are shown for contrast, which is something Eliza usually doesn't get to see. It was worth checking out for the theme of the last couple weeks, but I wasn't thrilled with it overall.

* * * * *

There is one last book called Cherries and Cherry Pits, but I can't find it at the moment. I'll update this when I do.

raw lunch

2007-06-14T12:41:00.001-07:00

The warmer it gets, the less I want to cook.

1. mock rice pilaf (Raw Foods Made Easy) - Super fast and easy, it has shredded zucchini, pine nuts, currants, and homemade dressing.

2 & 3 - cucumbers & sunflower pâté (Raw Foods Made Easy) - The dip was made in the food processor.

4 - organic oranges from Escondido

Not pictured is the almond milk I made. All my nut milk recipes come from Raw Food/Real World, the don't-hate-me-because-I'm-beautiful coffee table book of gourmet raw. While most of the book is just eye candy for me (since I lack a mandoline, juicer, and dehydrator), I have rotated among the nut milk recipes a since I got the book:

* almond milk
* vanilla Brazil nut milk
* cinnamon-maple pecan milk
* creamy macadamia milk

Eliza can't get enough of nut milk. She looked pleasantly surprised to find almond milk in her travel cup instead of water. I didn't get to drink a drop from that batch. Tant pis.

LibraryThing withdrawal

2007-06-13T14:44:00.000-07:00

O, LibraryThing, how I do miss thee.

You'd think I'd get some reading done with LT being down for days, but I find myself checking obsessively to see if it's back up yet. Speaking of not reading, I had it in my mind that somehow I was going to finish the Anne of Green Gables series (which I borrowed ages ago) while C is out of town this week, but instead find myself reaching for whatever is sitting around. In the last few days, I've read . . .

bits and pieces of a couple dozen cookbooks
The Teany Book by Moby
The Raw Detox Diet by Natalia Rose

The Teany Book was a fun read - part tea, part baking, part history, all wacky. I am so not hip, but a vegetarian tea shop sounds like my idea of heaven.

The cat barked!

2007-06-12T22:07:00.000-07:00

Nikita's vacation cat-sitter calls her "ol' scarf n' barf" after an unsavory trait she's had since kittenhood. A few times a week, when Eliza and I came downstairs in the morning, the first thing out of her mouth was,

"Oh, no! The cat barked! There's a big mess!!!"

Joy.

But a few weeks ago, Eliza started started pronouncing it "barf" instead of "bark." It's just not the same. :)

June in the kitchen (part 1)

2007-06-05T12:38:00.000-07:00

For the first time in my life, I ate something I grew myself. These are kamut spirals (100% whole grain, colored with spinach, annatto, and beet powders) with an herbed chickpea sauce (Vive le Vegan!), which includes my own oregano.

This week's unusual find is an Armenian cucumber (grown in SoCal). I haven't taken a photo yet, but it looks like a long, skinny cucumber with a U-shape. The Wiki stub says although it looks like a cucumber, it's actually a melon and shouldn't be peeled. Excellent!

* * * * * * * * * * * *

Most of our recipes for the last two weeks have come from Vive le Vegan! by Dreena Burton. We've been enjoying them so much I decided to keep at it a third week. I plan to write my first cookbook review in a week or two.

breakfast/lunch

fantastic French toast
millet-amaranth porridge
blueberry bounty buns
orange-poppy seed muffins

dinner

chipotle corn black bean soup
earthy lentil soup
greek basmati rice
hummus tortilla pizzas
w/ cannellini bean yam hummus
orange-poppy seed dressing *

dessert

coconut-lime cookies **

* I thought this would be amazing on a baby spinach salad with fresh fruit (whatever's in our CSA box Thursday).

** I generally only have one dessert per month, and I've already selected the cupcakes for my birthday, which is still three weeks away. C. was the one who had a craving for bar cookies, so I found a couple with less sugar for him to choose between. These use shredded coconut and fresh lime peel and juice.

Those are all the recipes - I love trying out new ones, but I only plan for 3-4 days a week to allow for flexibility.

After last week's horrendous shopping trip, it was a relief to find Eliza an angel this week. She asked to sit in the cart while she examined the produce, and some strangers even came up to me to say what a "precious little girl" I have. I know she's precious, but it's nice to hear once in a while.

* * * * * * * * * * * *

The verdict is in. C's favorites were the French toast, chipotle corn black bean soup, and coconut-lime cookies, although he liked pretty much everything. Eliza's favorites were the cookies, the French toast, Greek basmati rice, and the spinach-strawberry salad, which she liked so much, she asked for it for breakfast the next day! She liked the blueberry bounty buns more than the orange-poppy seed muffins, and so did I. The whole barley in the muffins weighed them down (usually our muffins have whole wheat pastry flour), but the whole spelt was just perfect for the buns.

What did I like? I enjoyed almost everything, but I agree with C and E about the French toast. That was the first time I've made it in my life (I'm not sure why - I do make pancakes at least a half dozen times a year). I got a loaf of wheat batard from Whole Foods' bakery, which had white flour as its first ingredient and whole wheat as its second. It's unusual for us to eat any refined flours/grains (even cookies are whole grain), but it was definitely called for here. The cookbook's author, Dreena Burton, even said that a compromise was a good idea for this recipe. My only regret was that we had no fresh berries in the house for topping (the strawberries having already been used in spinach salad), but we did use organic whipped Earth Balance and pure maple syrup. I was very impressed, and I don't say that lightly because this happens to be the first vegan French toast I've ever had and the best french toast period. My only prior french toast experiences have been in places like IHOP or my family's wonder-bread-sopped-in-eggs variation. I tell you, if I knew french toast could be so good, I wouldn't have waited decades to make my own!

Chris and Eliza loved the coconut-lime cookies. They came out very well and were bursting with lime (zest and juice), despite their plain-Jane appearance. All I could think was that I'd rather have chocolate, but that's a chocoholic for you.

* * * * * * * * * * * *

CSA loot: June 7th

There's an organic farm a few miles up the road. In their CSA box this week we got zucchini, carrots, fennel, parsley, two kids of lettuce, red chard, an avocado, lemons, and strawberries - oh, glorious strawberries! How we used them . . .

lemons - "mock rice pilaf," "sunflower pâté" (both Raw Foods Made Easy), "Greek basmati rice"
zucchini - "mock rice pilaf" was mostly shredded zucchini
carrots - "earthy lentil soup," "chipotle corn black bean soup," and munching
chard - "earthy lentil soup" (it wasn't in the recipe, but I decided it would be a good addition)
lettuce - garden salads
strawberries - two meals' worth of spinach salad w/ "orange poppy seed dressing"
avocado - not yet used (just now fully ripened)
fennel - not yet used . . . maybe some raw fennel would go well with the avocado in a baby greens salad

elevenses of late spring

2007-06-05T12:03:00.001-07:00

The hand belongs to Miss Eliza, who made it difficult for me to get a clear shot with all her grape snatching.

1. green grapes

These are the first California organic grapes of the season. For weeks, I've been grumbling to myself about all the South American grapes, which I refuse to buy, but at last my patience was rewarded. These grapes were a bit on the tart side for my taste, but I have a feeling this week's red grapes will be sweeter.

2. cucumbers (stars cut out of centers)

The cucumbers are organic-local. I got the idea to seed cucumbers by using a mini cookie cutter from a lunch DVD I watched last year. Eliza is more likely to eat foods if there are fun shapes involved.

3. Gala apples

They're from Washington - the only produce item I bought last week not from the southern half of California. Eliza talked me into getting them. I don't know why she's so apple crazy in the midst of such California summer abundance of citrus, stone fruit, and berries.

4. energy cookies (Vive le Vegan! by Dreena Burton)

These were from Vive le Vegan! by Dreena Burton (who happened to blog today about her cookies). She's far too modest - she is to vegan cookies what Isa Chandra Moskowitz is to vegan cupcakes - genius at work there. The "energy cookies" were almost like trail mix in a cookie shape and were unusually soft and chewy considering how chunky they are. They call for two flours (barley and spelt, but I had to substitute whole wheat pastry for the latter), four seeds (sunflower, pumpkin, hemp, and flax), dried fruit (I used black mission figs), vegan carob chips, and a bit of pure maple syrup. Eliza is a big fan.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

1. Armenian cucumber

It's just as cool and crispy as a European cucumber, but the peel has no bitterness at all. There was a very subtle sweetness, but it tastes nothing like a melon. I dressed it very lightly with fresh mint and a spritz of olive oil and lemon juice.

2. apricots

I kept them bright and orange with a bath in a crushed Vitamin C tablet.

3. Organic Morning O's & raisins

There's always that "what on earth do I have to put in the fourth box?" O's to the rescue.

4. "bountiful blueberry buns" (Vive le Vegan!)

Delicious! We'll definitely make these whole spelt muffins-in-scone-form again sometime. I didn't quite have enough blueberries, so I added cherries.

cherimoya love

2007-06-05T11:44:00.000-07:00

I posted last week about the cherimoya fruit I got at the co-op. It took four days to fully ripen, but it was worth the wait.

Half the cherimoya was chopped and topped our Sunday family breakfast of "creamy raspberry oatmeal" (Vive le Vegan!). The other half was frozen and eaten as a dessert that evening. It was delicious, sweet, and creamy! I would have liked to pick up a cherimoya at the co-op this week, but I was obliged to go to Whole Foods instead because the cat was out of food. If only the cat could live on chermioyas. . . . On second thought, I'd go bankrupt if she did.

cupcakes meet knitting

2007-06-04T18:16:00.001-07:00

Check out these stunning knitting-themed cupcakes on the VeganYumYum blog. I'm in awe!

Update: She explains how she did it with marzipan.

library theme: snails

2007-06-04T14:36:00.001-07:00

The great thing about the public library is that it allows me to do theme weeks. Even with my large collection of picture books, I usually don't have enough books on a single subject to comprise a theme. Eliza is the one who chooses the theme. When she was a young toddler, C. and I would make a note of whatever her current obsession was (usually a specific animal), and the next time I went to the public library, I'd come home with a half dozen or so books on the subject. Now that she's a few months shy of 3 years old, she can outright tell me what she'd like to read about. For the past two weeks, we've been reading picture books starring snails. The slimy buggers wouldn't have been my choice, but this is all about what she wants.

A House for Hermit Crab, Eric Carle

A hermit crab that lives on the ocean floor has outgrown the shell he took for a home. Right away, he finds a larger shell, and the story follows his attempts to improve his home by asking other sea animals to join him.

My daughter grew more excited with each animal addition to the hermit crab's shell and insisted on pointing out each and every one on each page. Although this isn't a book about snails, one page features sea snails, one of whom joins Hermit Crab's posse to clean it of algae.

Although the story sounds odd at first blush (e.g., collecting other animals), the message is a sweet one about friendship and growing up. Hermit Crab always asks for help from other animals gently and respectfully. I don't want to ruin the ending, so I'll just say that it's not about acquisition - it's more about the symbiotic relationship Hermit Crab has with his friends.

This book features some of Carle's best crayon, paint, and collage art - the texture is fantastic.

I was charmed to see this note on the back flap about Eric Carle:

Eric Carle is the creator of many beloved books about animals, birds and insects, but he says that he feels particularly fond of Hermit Crab, the hero of this book. Perhaps this is because he was born in the month of June, under the astrological sign of the Crab. People born under this sign are said to be both creative and sensitive; they love their homes and gardens, and like to withdraw there when the outside world is stressful.

That's so me (I'm a June-born Cancer, too). Maybe that's why I liked Hermit Crab.

Snail Trail, Ruth Brown

Another reason I love the library is that this book is out-of-print. There was but a single copy in the entire city library system, but it was worth calling over to my branch.

Snail Trail begins, "Slimy Snail set out on a trail one bright and sunny morning." The snail and the trail he blazes are illustrated in extreme close-up. It's enough to give anyone squeamish of snails the willies, but kids who adore creepy-crawlies will adore the adventurous snail. Each double-page spread shows the snail going through a tunnel, down a slope, or other tricky maneuvers, which is a great way for younger toddlers to learn prepositions. The final pages zoom out to show the snail's trail in full - silvery slime and all - so that the readers can see where the snail went from a human point of view. This book would be mostly of interest to ages 1 to 3.

This was one of Eliza's two favorites for the week . . .

The Snail and the Whale, Julia Donaldson (written) & Axel Scheffler (illustrated)

. . . which brings me to Eliza's other favorite, The Snail and the Whale. The illustrations are not hyper-realistic like those of Snail Trail - they are cartoonish in the best sense, and the snails are almost charming with their impish grins. Eliza asked to reread this book many times in the course of two weeks and often couldn't contain herself from blurting out what happens on the next pages.

"This is the tale of a tiny snail / And a great big, gray-blue humpback whale," the rhyming story opens. Having an urge to travel and see the world, the snail beseeches the whale for a ride around the world on his tail. The scenes range from icebergs to jungles to grand forests and mountains. The duo have a wonderful time until the whale is in grave danger. It's up to whale's molluscan friend to save the day. Recommended for ages 2-6.

The Secret, Lindsay Barrett George

Can a 30-something mom have a favorite snail picture book? If so, this would be mine.

Mr. Snail has a secret message for Miss Snail. He whispers it to the mouse and off it goes, being "squeaked" to the beetle, "pinched" to the turtle, and "grumbled," "swished," "croaked, "wiggled," "shook," "buzzed," and so on until it reaches Miss Snail. With such a simple story, the text could have been dumbed down in another's hands, but Lindsay Barrett George gives it such charm with her colorful word choices.

What I liked most about this book, however, were the collage illustrations that reminded me a bit of Clare Beaton's Mother Goose Remembers with its bric-à-brac collage except where the latter contains sewing notions, The Secret employs silk flowers and items from nature mingling with ink and paint. The effect is startlingly three dimensional. Recommended for ages 1-4.

The Biggest House in the World, Leo Lionni

Little snail's grandest ambition is to grow up to have the biggest house in the world. To dissuade him, his wise father tells him the story about what happened once upon a time to another snail who dreamt the same. Once that snail figured out how to enlarge his shell, there was no stopping him - eventually his shell became so unwieldy that he could no longer move. Sensitive little ones may be disturbed by the snail's implied death, but the text is vague enough ("slowly faded away") that parents may be able to sidestep this. The snail's being destroyed by his own ambition is certainly sad, but the ending of the book is hopeful. The little snail's life is ahead of him, and he gains a new appreciation for nature and sustainability. For ages 3-6.

The Snail's Spell, Joanne Ryder (written) & Lynne Cherry (illustrated)

"Imagine you are soft and have no bones inside you. Imagine you are grey, the color of smoke," the text invites the reader. A little blonde girl curls up in a garden and pretends to shrink and morph into a snail, seeing the world of the garden from a new perspective. The Snail's Spell differs from other picture books with snails in that it brings up the different body parts of the snail and what they're used for.

My daughter was very quiet and attentive as we read this each time (usually she's animated and has conversations with books). I didn't think it was as big of a hit as The Snail and the Whale, but she enjoyed it in a different way. Her father was amused to see her slithering across the carpet pretending to be a snail. For ages 2-5.

The Snail House, Allan Ahlberg (written) & Gillian Tyler (illustrated)

This horse of a different color is the James and the Giant Peach of picture books. The children's grandmother entertains them with a fantastical story about siblings who shrank so small they were shorter even than a snail's feelers. They move into the snail's shell ("And it was a proper house too, with a door and windows, roof and chimney, table, chairs, three little beds, curtains, and crockery - everything!") where they travel through the garden having little adventures. For ages 3-7.

The Happy Day, Ruth Krauss (written) & Marc Simont (illustrated)

Winter has come, and all the animals are hibernating. When they suddenly wake up and race from their dens and burrows. What has captured their attention? The Happy Day is illustrated almost completely in pencil shades of grey, well-suited to the barrenness of winter, but also imparting a soft charcoal warmth to the animals. This is a short, simple story, and a well-done and subtle one at that. For ages 1-4.

How Many Snails?: A Counting Book, Paul Giganti, Jr. (written) & Donald Crews (illustrated)

Last and also least is How Many Snails?. The text and the illustrations are deathly boring. It tries to be more than just another counting book by asking the child to count only a subset of the items on the page (e.g., "How many clouds were big and fluffy? How many clouds were big and fluffy and gray?"). My daughter's only source of amusement was in pointing out that some of the dogs were wearing necklaces (they looked like pearl chokers). Neither she nor I have a high opinion of this book. I expected much, much better from the illustrator of Freight Train.

As for the snails, there's exactly one double-page spread of them. The book has no more to do with snails than it does clouds, dogs, or cupcakes.

taste of summer

2007-05-31T14:16:00.001-07:00

1. "Swallow-Them-All Banana Balls" (Everyday Vegan by Dreena Burton)

These were really easy and fun to make. Apples, dates, banana, coconut, flax meal, almond butter, and corn flakes are rolled into balls between your palms, which are then rolled around in carob powder and/or coconut.

2. Aztec cereal

That's the crunchy yellow breakfast cereal by Erewhon. It has corn, amaranth, apple juice, sea salt, and nothing else. Eliza is crazy for this stuff.

3. ambrosia melon & blueberries

I'm not sure how ambrosia melon is different from cantaloupe, but it was perfectly sweet and delicious. The blueberries were from Stehly Farms Organics in North County and perfect. Blueberries are my favorite fruit of all, but they have been crazy expensive all season so far. Just last week, a tiny container went for $8 or $9 at Whole Foods, but this week they were $2 at the co-op. It looks like Stehly doesn't sell at any of this county's farmers' markets though. Bummer. I'll have to hope the co-op keeps getting a steady crop for weeks (months? I dare not hope) to come.

4. "Quick Lemon-Garlic Quinoa Salad" (Feeding the Whole Family by Cynthia Lair)

When I thought about what to do with the red quinoa, this was the first thing that came to mind. I make this salad (with typical quinoa) once a month or so. Most of the ingredients are raw (only the quinoa is cooked) and tastes best chilled or at room temperature, so it does well for lunch box or picnic fare. There was only a subtle flavor difference between the red quinoa and the usual suspect, so I think I prefer the cream-colored quinoa for visual appeal if nothing else (the brown-red quinoa makes it difficult to see the carrots, sunflower seeds, and parsley).

I almost forgot - I substituted Udo's DHA for part of the olive oil and the flavor was still very good. I wouldn't replace more than half since there's nothing like the fruity flavor of quality extra-virgin olive oil.

* * * * *

Fruit is without a doubt my favorite part about summer. I'm miserable when the temperatures rise above 80 (although the 80s sound pretty good compared to the day last summer I was stuck in Escondido the afternoon it hit 115 and the power went off for hours), so fresh fruit is my consolation.

Eliza's favorite fruits of May have been the various melons. Although she vacuums up them all, her favorite is watermelon, or as she says, "waduh-muhmuh." I like melons alright, but I'm really a berry person (blueberries, raspberries, strawberries, and blackberries - in that order). I was thinking that for my monthly dessert, I'd like to make the "Sexy Low-Fat Vanilla Cupcakes with Raspberries" from Vegan Cupcakes Take Over the World. They are the cutest things with upside-down raspberries adorning the top and just a trickle of glaze.

crazy fruit

2007-05-30T14:28:00.000-07:00

This week's trip to the co-op brought a few new finds.

First, after reading cookbook author Dreena Burton's post about a vegan DHA oil blend, I decided to give it a shot (good timing - my supplements just ran out). Dreena says it tastes "clean," which is good to hear since I have to disguise straight flax oil (such as in the fabulous sesame-miso vinaigrette from La Dolce Vegan!).

Second, I hadn't intended to buy any quinoa (having so much in my pantry), but I've never seen quinoa like this. The "grains" are considerably smaller than typical quinoa and possess an earthy red-brown hue.

Finally, that large green fruit that looks like it's wearing armor is a cherimoya. According to the Wiki article, "The fruit is fleshy and soft, sweet, white in color, with a custard-like texture, which gives it its secondary name, custard apple. Some characterize the flavor as a blend of pineapple, mango and strawberry." I had no idea what it was when I spotted it, but since it was organically grown in local Escondido, I thought the mystery fruit was worth a shot.

Cherimoyas have their own website - who knew? - complete with eating suggestions. Once it's fully ripened (it should get softer like an avocado), I'll cut it in half and we'll all eat half raw and put the rest in the freezer, since the website says it's ice cream-like. Hmm, we'll see. I hope it's Organic-Rice-Divine good and not soy-ice-cream lame.

can't catch me!

2007-05-16T13:37:00.000-07:00

"Run, run, fast as you can. Can't catch me... I'm the ginger man." Her chanting would have been more charming if she hadn't been acting it out at the grocery store. No wonder it took me two hours to get out of there.

just my luck

2007-05-11T13:50:00.000-07:00

Every time I think of something to post, I've forgotten what that was by the next time I have time alone with the cursed laptop (its AC connection is so wonky that it goes into hibernation mode every 20 seconds to 5 minutes, making composing a simple e-mail difficult).

Kvetch #1: On Tuesday, I spoke with the bike shop manager, who informed me that he could put on a temporary fork. I told him as wonderful as that sounds, we couldn't afford a few hundred dollars at the moment. "Oh, no," he protested, "cost of labor only." I was confused because I was told a few weeks ago that it would cost hundreds by an employee, who was himself confused. We fork over the fork when the permanent part arrives from Timbuktu. He continued, "it will be ready for you within the hour." I was speechless to think that these two months stuck at home could have been avoided for $20.

Although the bike shop is just two blocks away, the errand took nearly two impossibly long hours. Eliza outright refused to hold my hand despite traffic roaring by at 50+ mph. I literally had to carry all 32 pounds of her most of the way there - my back was crying. The way back was even worse as she still refused to hold my hand, but that time, I had a bike to steer in addition to an angry diva. When she wouldn't budge for anything, I had no choice but to sit and stay until she decided to move a few more feet; I couldn't carry her and steer the bike. It was so much easier making trips to the bike shop when I could just plunk her in a mei tai (yes, I know it's technically still possible, but she's so heavy now).

I arrive home exhausted and miserable, but at least the bike was fixed. The car was mine on Wednesday! I wish I could have gone somewhere more exciting, but I needed to make a trip to the co-op, and it was either then or at night. No problem - I was planning to go E's playgroup's craft day on Thursday. Little did I guess that DH would leave for work on his bike Thursday only to return five minutes later . . . with a flat tire! Since he got a flat tire just two days before March's crash, that means he got a flat two of the last five days riding the bike.

I could have gotten the flat fixed Thursday, but I wasn't about to have a repeat of Wednesday afternoon's adventure. So I went back to being housebound for a couple more days.

Kvetch #2: One of the few places we can go within walking distance is music class. DH dropped us off (along with the stroller) in the morning. All was going well in class until Eliza came crashing down on my lap at an angle, literally knocking my kneecap out of its joint!* I shrieked in pain. It was only a mild dislocation, which snapped back immediately, but my reaction frightened Eliza badly. For ten minutes, I held her as tears streamed down her face. I reassured her that I was going to be fine, but she was so shaken that it took some time to calm down.

It took the better part of an hour to limp the mile home.

Can I add a third kvetch? During the composition of this entry, my laptop has hibernated at least a half dozen times. Next post, no kvetching - I have photos of Eliza's aquatic-muffin-duck masterpiece.

* I've had "trick knees" since ever I can remember. It's not a problem I think about much anymore because Southern California's climate means there's never ice to slip on, twisting my leg and knee - what used to be a frequent problem back east only now happens once every year or two.

tantrums

2007-04-19T17:09:00.000-07:00

Between our being mostly housebound and her father's long hours at work, Eliza's tantrums have increased in length and intensity these last couple weeks. Most of the time, there's no trigger as far as I can see, and when there is a discernible cause, it's so odd. Here are two examples:

She asked for a pickle. What did I do? I handed her the pickle she had asked for (silly me), which was immediately thrown on the floor and declared "yucky!" She started walking away and was completely indifferent to the pickle's fate until I threw it in the trash. She threw herself on the kitchen floor only to bump her head hard, so her screaming intensified turning her face crimson. Often holding her will help her calm down, but not that day - it made her even more angry. So she screamed herself hoarse for a good 20 minutes on the family room carpet until her throat hurt so much she could only croak. All I could do was sit next to her helplessly - any attempt to make contact infuriated her. When she finally regained her composure, she curled into my lap, nestling her head against my shoulder to read a few books.

One of yesterday's tantrums was set off by Legos. You know the little Lego men? Eliza thought they'd be better off without pants. Great. The only problem is that the pants don't come off, which I tried to explain to no avail - she went off the deep end.

She's a good egg, a wonderful little person, and it makes me sad to see her so frustrated.

spring plans

2007-04-10T14:37:00.000-07:00

As it turns out, spring will be more than half over by the time I have the car again, but a couple weeks ago when I was more optimistic, I tinkered with our chart (which lost pretty graphics when I uploaded it to Google).

Eliza only has one "class" at the moment. She has been going to Musical Children since she was 5½ months old - more than 2 years now! She was in a toddler tumbling class for about a year, which was once the highlight of her week, but we dropped it in December when overcrowding (coinciding with a bout of stranger anxiety) took out the fun.

The library's story time might be a good out-of-house activity. Our nearest library is beautiful - the building itself has stained glass windows, and there's a duck pond outside.* We used to go on Wednesday afternoons for more than a year (before I buried myself in library fines). Story time is every Tuesday at 10 for kids 3-6 years old (there is no toddler story time). At 2½, Eliza is tall and willowy, a full head above many 2 years olds, so based on physical appearance alone, no one would suspect she's not yet 3, so the only question is . . . would she sit still for a half hour? C feels it's worth a shot; after all, if Eliza is restless, we could remove ourselves and go to the duck pond - no money lost (it's free) and we only went 2 miles to get there.

Once the weather improves, we can start going again to the aquatic center 1½ miles away, which has a children's aqua playground in 18" deep water.

* I still remember the first time I took Eliza there as an older baby. After I checked out a few books, we sat in the adjacent meadow enjoying the sun while Eliza examined the wildflowers. When I told C about it later that day, he couldn't stop laughing. "So let me get this right. . . . you were nursing your cloth-diapered vegetarian flower child in a meadow. You are a hippie!" How droll. :/

(Photos on right are from her 2nd birthday; in the baby photo, she's 9½ months old.)

still stranded

2007-04-10T14:14:00.000-07:00

2½ weeks from today. "You've got to be kidding" was the first thought that came to mind when the bike repair guy updated me as to when the bike part is expected to arrive. He had told me in late March that it had to be ordered from overseas, but he didn't tell me it was at the peak of Mount Everest, which could be the only possible explanation for a single bike part taking more than a month to arrive. I may remain stranded at home on weekdays until May.

The silver lining in all this is that our garden is well-tended, I've had time to catch up on Latin, and Eliza is happy as a clam spending the day reading and playing.

isolated

2007-03-28T17:59:00.000-07:00

"Mommy's so sad."

No kidding. I've been feeling isolated for weeks. About a month ago, C had emergency surgery, which meant he couldn't bike in to work for a couple weeks, the consequence of which being that I was stuck home without a car unless I cared to waste an hour between two round trips of carpooling. Only a couple days after he resumed biking, he got a flat tire. Eliza and I walked the bike to the shop that day to have it fixed. Just two days after that, he crashed his bike into a parked car, mangling the front fork. "Didn't I just see you?" the bike shop employee asked. Unfortunately, this wasn't as easily fixed as a popped tire. I just got word that the special-ordered part would take a couple weeks to arrive.

For now, I have the car since C is out of town on business this week. I would much rather have him around than the car, but it's going to be hard being housebound these next two weeks. I guess I had better take advantage of having the car until he comes home.

Maybe we'll go to the Thursday playgroup tomorrow. I really miss them, but they're meeting so far from my house this week, and I'd feel like a shlub burning up that much gas. But since I haven't been in a month now, and our next opportunity won't be until after Pesach, I just might do it.

As if the bike/car woes weren't enough, this afternoon Miss Eliza thought my cell phone needed a bath. I sent an e-mail to C, who told me to take out the battery and let it dry overnight before trying to use the phone (I don't hold out much hope).

So next week, we're home alone with no car and no phone. When it rains it pours.

early spring in the garden

2007-03-27T13:44:00.000-07:00

After ten days, the oregano is still alive. Barely. It's actual several oregano plants. The one on the right looks like it's going to make it, but the wilted sad-sack on the left . . . probably not. On a lark, I sprinkled what little Rescue Remedy I had left near the roots on the right side of the plant. Coincidence?

The neighbors' nanny informs me they're hiring someone to completely redo their patio garden in anticipation of putting up the house for sale and plan to completely uproot the large, thriving rosemary bush. The nanny told them she had a feeling I would be thrilled to give it a home. She asked if I had room. "I'll make room." I have a single bare patch of soil that might be large enough; it will be the Eliyahu HaNavi seat of the garden.

Speaking of herbs, I bought two organic seed packets from the co-op: thyme and sweet basil. I managed to keep half an oregano planting alive for ten days - who's cocky now? My brown thumb has managed to kill these same plants before. But the way I see it at the moment, what have I to lose besides the four bucks it cost to buy the seeds? My botanical ego is already so bruised from years of failures it couldn't get any worse. I have a game plan this time. I'm going to wait another month until the weather really warms up, and I'm going to put a copper ring around the seedlings to keep the snails away.

I'm so ready for spring. It's a wee bit chilly today with blustering winds, but once it settles into spring for good, Eliza and I will resume our afternoon tea tradition at the patio garden table (the dining room table inside doesn't have the same charm).

Finally, my hybrid tea roses have buds! As much as I swoon over roses in bloom, there's something so perfect about tender crimson leaves. I've been thinking for weeks now that the jasmine would beat the roses to bloom, but now I'm not so sure. I have a soft spot for jasmine. What's not to love about a plant that grows lushly despite the fact that I never touch it (aha, maybe that's its secret to success). I don't even water it - it's on a drip irrigation system that delivers water next to the roots at night to converse water. I wish the roses were that easy.

sissy mama

2007-03-21T13:34:00.000-07:00

I'm afraid of snails. There - I've said it. They're not as scary as horses, but still. The buggers have been noshing on the lowest rose leaves, and still I can't bring myself to relocate them to the palm tree because one might accidentally touch me. *gasp*

Yesterday, we spent more than an hour weeding our little garden. I decided the clover needed to go. The pretty yellow flowers and okra-shaped pods were adorable, but alas, the cause of their spreading like wildfire. Eliza is a most enthusiastic weed puller! Finally, she has a positive outlet for her destructive tendencies. I have to go back to tease out the roots, of course, but I'm glad she was entertained.

Much to my relief, she will ask if a patch of something is a weed before pulling it. She pointed to my newly-planted oregano:

E: That's a weed?
S: No, sweetie, that's oregano.
E: We make the tea wit' owegano?
S: Those aren't tea leaves. We use those for cooking.

That's my girl! Already she has her priorities right: proper tea is from loose leaves, not bags. I can't say oregano tea sounds appetizing, but Chris thought it probably looked to her like my Emerald Lily green tea (pre-rolling).

brown thumb

2007-03-16T14:18:00.000-07:00

I just planted it, and already the oregano's days are numbered. Not one single plant I've put in the ground has lived longer than a few weeks. My humble patio garden contains a half dozen hybrid tea rose bushes, a "tree" in each corner (oleander and bird-of-paradise), inviting jasmine, and a wall of lush creeping fig. All of those were here when we moved in almost three years ago. The sweet alyssa I used as a groundcover between the roses died within a few weeks (I know it's just an annual - but come on - a few months would have been nice). The Mediterranean herbs I planted in a cedar box died before they even reached six inches tall. The coleus was eaten by snails. The heliotrope was scorched soon after planting by 100+ degree head one horrendous April day. You know you're in trouble when a sun-loving plant dies from too much sun.

But hope springs eternal in the human breast, or so Alexander Pope tells me. We were visiting next door today, and the neighbors' nanny and I got to talking about gardening. Oregano, rosemary, and spearmint were thriving (in fact, the spearmint was thriving a bit too much, but I guess they never heard the recommendation to pot it separately because of its invasiveness). Then I find out the neighbors never use any herbs from their patio garden. They rip out oregano when it starts to get out of control, then drive down the street to buy oregano at the supermarket! The nanny proceeded to rip out some oregano and throw it over my fence, telling me to plant it as soon as I get home. Well, what else was I supposed to do? I could compost it or plant it - either way it will end up as organic fertilizer.

I had never tried to plant anything in that stretch of dirt. Chris had ripped out a thriving fennel plant when we first moved in (although I can't recall why), but perhaps he wouldn't have done that if he'd have known about the curse of the brown thumb. Anyway, I must have hauled away at least 20 pounds of clay and roots. I suspect the thin roots are from the uninvited clover that has been growing in my garden. I let it be because it was making dainty yellow flowers, and finally, I had ground cover between my roses. I filled in the space with the last of my organic soil, moistened it thoroughly, and crossed my fingers I'd have better luck with this plant.

Little does it know it just met its doom.

food frisbee

2007-02-22T19:10:00.000-08:00

Today has been trying. Between suffering a 7-hour-long headache* and being woken up at 5 a.m., it's astounding I didn't lose my cool. At a meeting/potluck today, Eliza threw an unprovoked fit, grabbing my plate and throwing it on the carpet. I clenched my jaw and squeezed my hands, allowing myself a minute to cool down before I snapped. It's bad enough when she throws food at home, but this happened on someone else's carpet with a half dozen witnesses watching as I spent 10 minutes picking currants out of the carpet and mopping up cashew butter. "Let's clean up," I said, but Eliza (who is usually quite willing to help these days) would have none of it.

She wasn't upset after she threw the food. "Huh? How'd that get there?" her expression seemed to say. I wish I knew what brought it on.

* More on that in a later post.

she turns her talents to baking

2007-02-20T09:11:00.000-08:00

We baked yet another batch of whole grain muffins this morning. Our last batch was "Carrot-Raisin Muffins" from Vegan with a Vengeance, and all three of us were so impressed that I can't wait to try all of Isa's muffin recipes. This morning, we made "The Best Pumpkin Muffins" with the walnut variation (they're cooling now). I altered the recipe by using agave nectar because I just can't bring myself to dump a half cup of cane sugar into an otherwise healthy muffin. It won't be as sweet, but I don't need my muffins to taste like cupcakes.

Eliza thought she'd improvise as well. She had some (reheated, leftover) whole wheat penne in front of her and with a "bam!" tossed a fistful into the bowl of dry ingredients:

"Oh, yeah! I'm making pasta muffins!"

future chef

2007-02-14T16:23:00.000-08:00

Being Valentine's Day and all, I had to splurge on dark chocolate this week. Eliza got her hands on it before I could put it away. I thought I got it all, but when she came back down from being upstairs for a couple minutes, she was carrying a frisbee with chocolate and tap water (she's fond of the sink):

"Look, Mommy, I made the chocolate soup!"

Her pretty striped dress was wet with chocolate stains, but she looked so pleased and took another sip in my presence, declaring how much she loved chocolate soup. That's a new one!

She is going to be on cloud nine tonight when she finds out we're having Chocolate Cherry Crème Cupcakes (from Vegan Cupcakes Take Over the World). [update: here's a photo from the next day]

"cupcake bliss"

bean dip?

2007-02-01T12:36:00.000-08:00

For 3½ hours this morning we were out and about, all on foot. First was music class, then brunch, and next the bookstore for story time and train play. On the way home, Eliza noticed dandelions poking out from a crack and we stopped right there and sat on the sidewalk to examine them and the ice plants.

Flower in the crannied wall
I pluck you out of the crannies; -
Hold you here, root and all, in my hand,
Little flower - but if I could understand
What you are, root and all, and all in all,
I should know what G.d and man is.

Tennyson's poem has always been meaningful to me, but never more so than today with my own daughter contemplating the simple complexity or complex simplicity of a weed.

We went along our way and were about to round the corner to go home when Eliza pleaded to play at the park. Why not? We took our sweet time getting there, as everything fascinates her - pine cones, clusters of violet flowers, dirt - but today was special . . . today a hummingbird perched on the fence just inches from us. I put my finger to my lips in a silent gesture. I couldn't believe the bird was still sitting there; I've never seen one that close in my life. I lifted Eliza so she could see it from my vantage point. This is the child who sends the cat racing to hide under the bed, but something in her azure eyes told me she understood this moment required delicacy. Not a word escaped her lips. The bird flew away, and she sighed.

The park was empty except for an older woman with a young boy. Eliza was being unusually talkative considering she was among strangers. When the woman's 3-year-old charge couldn't answer her question of how many beads there were, Eliza answered instead. From then on, the woman wouldn't leave me alone. I'm a friendly person, but it takes me time to warm up to new people, and so I prefer to keep to myself around strangers. She couldn't stop talking about how smart my daughter is and demanded to know where she went for preschool. Uh-oh. Want some bean dip? "She doesn't. Chilly out here, isn't it?" She persisted, asking about daycare instead. "No daycare. I wish I'd brought my jacket." Eliza continued to giggle, chasing after the boy as the woman continued to grill me. She rattled off a list of nearly-synonymous words for daycare and preschool, perhaps thinking I hadn't understood. "No, nothing. It sure is cold - I can't wait for spring." The woman was shocked. Her expression said it all: How is it possible this child isn't intellectually stunted?

When she first introduced herself, she told me she was a daycare administrator and told me how much she paid for each of her houses and how many square feet they contained. I simply responded with my name and a shy smile, hoping she should leave me in peace. The next thing she told me was that it wasn't right to have just one child and that I needed more. Eliza had asked me a question at the same time, so I got out of responding to the woman. On the way home, I thought how obnoxious I found it to be told by a complete stranger that I needed more children and that my daughter should have been in daycare by 4 months old at the latest. I'm glad the option of daycare (in-home or center) exists for those who need/want it, but this woman had crossed the line. She insisted my daughter must be quite unusual. Please - spare me. Perhaps if this woman knew all the bright, inquisitive, imaginative, sweet-natured 2-year-olds that I do she wouldn't be tempted to write off Eliza as a rare creature. But I didn't say this. I didn't defend my choices to her. I just passed the bean dip and went home.

farewell, nickert

2007-01-31T17:18:00.000-08:00

It had to happen sometime. Today, Eliza correctly pronounced "yogurt" - formerly known as "nickert." I've been thinking lately that in a way I'll miss her mispronunciations. At least we still have "soo-muh" (soy milk) and "sow" (salad). "Uhl-bar" (almond butter) has become "uhl-budder."

squash bombs

2007-01-10T14:08:00.000-08:00

I should have known better. One minute she's smiling at me from the grocery cart with a twinkle in her eye, and the next it's bombs away for the butternut squash. I thought I had persuaded her to keep the squash next to her in the seat since the cart was full. She patted the squashes ever so gently and told me it was OK. OK my eye. For dinner tonight: cracked squash à la gosse.

This came at the end of a long morning. Eliza kept slamming my cookbook closed, making it very difficult to search for recipes. Then he decided she only wanted to pick out the tofu bits for breakfast (of course, who doesn't?!) and wouldn't touch the brown rice or vegetables that were part of the dish - all other offers of food were turned down as well. Then on the way to the store, she complains of hunger. I had never eaten at WFM before, but I figured we'd pick out something to satisfy her. We sat down with a blueberry-banana drink from the juice bar for us and a whole grain fig bar for her. But that wasn't all.

A woman came by handing out free bags of some kettle corn snack - "great for kids - no trans fats or corn syrup." Uh-huh. Sixteen grams of sugar per cup; holy guacamole, that's more added sugar than she has in a typical month! Enjoy it, sweetie - it's your lucky day. HaShem has a sense of humor. This I know. Just ten minutes before the squash incident, Eliza decided the only thing more fun than eating the sugar-bomb kettle corn would be to dump the bag out onto the floor. The kicker of it was that I couldn't let her out of the cart to "help" because she'd be off and running.

Usually, our grocery trips go smoothly, but today I was thrown a curve ball. Once home, she asked to go upstairs for a nap, and she told me, "Mama's sad. Want a kiss?" She has been going through a phase acting indifferently to me, so I haven't had many of those this month. I've been in a blue funk all week, trying my best to hide it and keep my chin up in public. I accepted the kiss, told her I love her, and only after closing the door allowed myself to cry.

3-foot-tall D*I*V*A